Thursday, September 29, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I have spent 5 years preparing my child for this moment: the day he leaves my care, and walks into yours. Today I watched my oldest son walk into your classroom with a backpack much too large for his small body. I felt conflicted. While I can't wait to see him blossom in this new environment and grow in so many ways, letting go of my child pulls at my heartstrings like I didn't think it would.
Please take care of J. If he's looking sad, I would hope you notice. I know in classroom full of other parent's children, please remember that this one is mine, and that he is special. Rejoice in his achieivements, laugh at his made-up jokes, and be impressed by his tongue curling and one-foot hop. Because I cannot be there to do these things.
I have had this child in my care most of his life. Nearly all he has learned comes from me. Five years of love, patience and hard work are now in your hands. Please do not treat it lightly.
And please, if at some point he just wants to talk your ear off, just let him.
A concerned parent.
I'm sorry but this concerns me!! Parents obviously feel the same way as I do (I feel that going to school 30 hours a week is essentially handing over your child for somebody else to raise) but why do they ignore these instincts??
Are we really just such victims of society, such SHEEP that it never occurs to us that we have a CHOICE? We just say "That's what people do," or "That's the way it goes." Just the same as we "have to" give our kids shots and do other medical things that make them cry, that we don't understand, but we are just supposed to be a good member of society and not cause any trouble.Or we do say "The world says I am not qualified to raise my own children, and who am I to argue?" as if we don't actually own our children, they are still on loan from the government/hospital who gave us permission to take them home in the first place? (that is another big topic in itself...how does bonding at birth relate to the suppression of mother's instinct or the simple sense of "owning" our children?)
Well guess what!? The government's purpose is to serve the people. Society serves us, not the other way around. And when it comes to MY CHILDREN, I will call the shots, thank you very much!This country needs more b*$%# moms like myself.
Monday, September 12, 2011
This last one was the starting line of a 10K race I did just last Saturday. Notice I started at the back with all the overweight walkers. Ha ha!!! I didn't even notice. I thought I would be last but I passed lots of people. Anyway It went really great!! It's such a high to accomplish something I am so unsure about. I don't know why pregnancy has hit my confidence but one reason I never feel prepared is because of this: when you're NOT pregnant, your fitness level goes higher and higher; if you have done the work in training, you know with a sureity you'll be ready. But when you are pregnant, your fitness level is going down, and you never know when the next big drop-off will be... so I guess I always feel nervous if I haven't done a certain distance within the previous week. I was really nervous about the triathlon and this, but both were just spectacular.
I was nervous about this 10K because it was later in the day, so I didn't know how the heat would affect me; and because it was an outdoor race with limited water and potty stops!! I am spoiled running at the gym, drinking and snacking to my heart's content, and stopping for a pee every half hour! But it went really great. No discomfort at all! I jogged the vast majority of it and finished much faster than I anticipated :) (my time was 1 hr 12 mins... my fastest non-pregnant 10K time is about 58 minutes)
Anyway, I got myself some toys today. A fetoscope for my personal use, since I am not having any prenatals done; and a maternity support belt to keep me running when things start to get heavy :) I like using the fetoscope, I consider myself pretty skilled with it. Today I located the placenta which gives me peace of mind that I won't be having placenta previa.
I have been feeling most of the kicks very low, so baby hasn't turned yet. I think it could happen anytime, but isn't fixed in a position til the eighth month anyway, so that is fine. I have put on about 13 pounds so far, would like to limit that to 25 lbs. It's funny how it comes in spurts - I put on 4 pounds in my second month with my cracker snacking, and then when I was out of town last month, I put on the rest all within a few weeks! I think you can see from that last picture how chunky I am getting but *oh well* I am limiting it, and feeling great, doing well, confident that it is not permanent.
I am eating fruit-til-dinner and focusing on green leafy veggies; Low-fat dinner to prevent yeast outbreaks; supplementing with alfalfa and kelp pills and well as sprouts and carrot juices now. I eat well 95% of the time but if I feel like cheating, I cheat. Funny how I used to be such a Natzi about sugar, etc. but now it's a nice indulgence when I am at a social function or something, and I handle it well. I am glad I've reached that point in my health where its about maintanence, not necessarily being on such a strict regimen for fear of all my goals collapsing! Nice, flexible...
Anyway sorry I am not a huge blogger lately.. I am not really feeling it but I feel obliged to keep you updated. You aren't really getting all my introspections the way I shared last time. If you are new to this blog, I encourage you to look through the archives. There is much more juicy stuff during my last pregnancy, when the blog began!