Chicken with its head cut off

So we are supposed to be cleansing.

But it's SUMMER!! We don't want to stay in bed! We have been so busy, playing, going places, staying up late....... I am running myself into the ground here, we are all running on adrenaline and the kids are over-tired. Well Elisabeth is, its so hard to get her to sleep because she has been taking poor naps (in the car) between activities. And I am seriously exhausted, I feel so sleepy whenever I lay down with the kids, and yet I can't sleep. That is called OVERTIRED when it happens to your kid, and that's exactly how I feel. I am hyperactive and exhausted at the same time.

This is a big week, we have 2 birthdays, a family reunion, the beach, a parade.....

I promise next week we will stay home and rest!! :)

Cacao

After listening to David Wolfe's talk, I considered superfoods again. I haven't bought them in a couple years, ever since I joined the 80/10/10 camp. They aren't encouraged because it's kind of the They're-unnecessary, All-foods-are-superfoods type of thing. And oh yeah, they're expensive. But I got to thinking, I certainly felt incredible back then (this is 2 summers ago when I first ate 100% raw). What was I doing differently? I was doing a lot of vegetable juicing, epsom salt baths, enemas, herbs, and superfoods. And I haven't done any of those things since I got pregnant. Getting pregnant makes you forget all those things, and I am just now remembering them. But it's hard to work them into life again, when things are so busy with kids. Anyway, back to the point. After listening to his talk, I decided to get one superfood.... raw cacao.

Tonight I made a cacao green smoothie for dinner.

David Wolfe forgot to mention, this is a very powerful food and you need to work it into your diet gradually. Not a blender-full of smoothie.

Yuck.

Nausea, headache..... I have felt those things with wheatgrass juice and sprouts so I thought just an initial reaction right? Well 3 hours later, I still feel sick and also there's this racing-mind and exhausted-body going on. I need to lay down but I can't stop doing stuff.

Is cacao a superfood or just toxic? David Wolfe goes on and on about all the magnesium and nutrients in it. But let's face it, some toxic things have nutrients. So take the big picture into consideration, and you might be better off just getting those nutrients from a different food. Then again, David Wolfe sure is a GORGEOUS, and he must be doing something right.

I think cacao, like any medicine, needs to be taken very carefully. And maybe it's good for building up, but only after you are clean. Same with wheatgrass--you can only tolerate so much while you are still cleansing and adjusting to raw foods. So I better be careful. And I'm not going to feed any to Elisabeth until I know what I am dealing with.

Cosmetic Nutrition

While I was in the shower today, I noticed my husband's shampoo bottles says "Infused with milk protein." What an interesting concept. Suave is actually using nutrition as a marketing technique, as if your hair can magically absorb nutrients (and that's assuming milk protein is actually nutritious). If that's the case, I am going to rub kale all over my hair. Last I checked, hair doesn't qualify for the small intestine. And if it did, then I am going to stop shaving immediately and start bathing in green smoothies, maca powder, and bee pollen! Now I haven't studied the science of cosmetic nutrition so I don't actually know if hair can absorb nutrients. But I do know the skin can absorb substances, and yet this does not mean it can break down those substances into nutrient particles. If it did, like I said, we would not be eating our food, we would be rubbing it on our bodies. When did people get so confused about nutrition that they forget the roles of organs, and forget that food is needs not only be ingested but actually needs to be broken down and absorbed!!!

Sweet siblings

So apparently I am tandem nursing. Yep, after 1 1/2 years absence, my son is now all over my boobs again. He doesn't nurse though, he cuddles and kind of suckles. He gets excited when milk comes out so I don't know why he doesn't just suck it out... So not that I want him to, but I let him do his thing. We call it "Special Cuddles" to prevent public embarassment, and we only do it when we're cuddling before nap/bedtime. Anyhow, it is *so sweet* when they are both on at the same time. Seriously, this must be why God gave us two breasts, it just feels so sweet and so complete. I am pretty new but I can already tell that these 2 siblings are going to be seriously bonded. They love sharing this time together. It is really cute too, how they play and pretend to fight over them.

Rychen used to whine when Elisabeth would try to play with his toys or grab at him. But now I never hear that. They play together and love wrestling, cuddling, tickling, and Rychen just loves making her laugh (or "getting her wild" which isn't allowed before bedtime!) - I think the change took place in the past couple of weeks as he has been in our bed again. Both of those things happened at the same time. The first couple times were rough, with her bothering him and waking him up, but then they adjusted and sleep quite well together. We took him back into our bed because my mom was in town, so she got his bed.

But also, with my raw food eating, I am softer emotionally and feel a lot closer to him. I openly admit I pushed him away too soon, that is why he has fears of abandonment. So I was glad to take him back in our bed, and not in a hurry to get him out. I really want to make up for lost time, here, and let him feel nurtured and secure and then go to his bed when he is ready. I for sure won't make him sleep in another room until he is ready. I feel so bad for pushing him out before he was ready (and by that I mean in generally, pushing him away from me and not babying him long enough). I feel that our family is healing now. Healing physically and mentally with the raw food cleansing, and healing emotionally with the affection and re-bonding.

Planting a seed

We've been hanging out with some new friends a lot lately, and they learned we are vegetarian. Suddenly now, it's a hot topic of interest! The two pre-teen girls had so many questions for me. The older one has a vegetarian friend who has already challenged her to give up meat. She tried but said she was too hungry (well yeah, she doesn't cook for herself so I wonder how much she ate?). I am going to get her going again! So I took the opportunity and pumped in as many gross facts about animal products I possibly could in our 15-minute car ride. The younger girl never considered that milk is BREASTMILK from a cow. Another great line I used what that the animals from factory farms are sick, so not only are you eating a dead thing, it's like eating a dead person died from cancer. Who would eat cancer!? It was awesome. I love brainwashing other peoples kids :) Oh and no, the mom doesn't mind. She is my good friend, and she started it all by saying "Look at Annalise, see how skinny she is? Because she's vegetarian!"

Contradiction

The nutrition controversy isn't limited to cooked food diets. Within the raw food world are so many different opinions, even contradictory -- all based on pretty good science too. In the 80/10/10 Diet, Dr. Graham has some astounding scientific facts on why a high-carb (hence, fruit) diet is optimal. And the nutrition literature is full of science saying a high-fat diet, even raw fats, are harmful to the liver and clog up the body's pathways. Well, you are getting your calories from either carbs or fats, so its one or the other. Sounds like a fruitarian diet is ideal, right? But then many more raw food teachers and healers are saying to limit your fruit intake. Robert Young says focus on sprouts, veggies, and some fats. Any diet with "some" fats, and minimal fruit leaves little room for .... Calories.

 

Listening to Raw Mom Summit, Dr. Cousens' interview had so much great information in it (he says limit your fruits to cherries, berries, and citris--low glycemic fruits). Dr. Cousens is awesome because he is an M.D. with lots of years as a pediatrician. How does he cure allergies, asthma, constipation, common colds? Eliminate dairy. And as a physician, he's got lots of empirical data for raw foods healing, which is just awesome. I felt overwhelmed with David Wolfe---he makes it sound like you'll be malnourished if you don't eat superfoods. But he's the only one who really emphasizes them. I personally think sprouts are as super as any food gets, and there is no reason to eat a special, rare food from halfway around the globe just to nourish yourself!

 

But it's hard to sort through all the different opinions, they all sound scientific and yet contradictory. They are saying don't eat too much fruit, and then they say don't eat much fat. So that leaves you with a very low-calorie diet!! (vegetables, mostly) Who knows?? :)  I decided just to see how things work for me personally in my own experience, with my own body. But I am still in the trial-and-error phase of that. Generally I know I feel great on a fruitarian diet IF I am clean FIRST. But if I am transitioning, there is too much mucous in me, and that creates bloating (as I learned from The Mucousless Diet Healing System book, and have verified that in my experience). So when I transition I do best eating pretty close to how Dr. Cousens recommends (limited fruits to low-sugar ones). But I definitely cannot eat a high-fat and high-fruit diet. 

 

Rychen, my son, though, eating mostly all fruit this week, has been his happiest and most balanced self ever. Not hyper like he can be, but still happy and good energy. He's been the most well-behaved as he's been in a long time, and seems generally more secure and at peace with the world. This past week he's eaten mainly fruit (grapes, strawberries, cantaloupe) with some sprouts hidden in green smoothie.

 

I've been eating tons of sprouts! And today somebody told me I look more ALIVE. Somebody who doesn't know the raw food jargon and doesn't care that I am eating Living foods. They actually used the word "Alive." How fitting!   (meanwhile though I feel I am still cleansing - its been 20 days of raw eating and I am still tired. My mucous is almost gone though. Oh and I have a sex drive again!!!!! :)

Body Building

As soon as this detox phase passes and I have more energy, I will get serious about my workout goals and try to build some muscle. I'm having my husband take a swimsuit before picture this weekend, and I'll get that up.

 

Here's the detox phases I've been through for the past 3 weeks.

(a) "seasonal allergies" symptoms - itchy eyes mostly. Still had energy to workout.

(b) itchy eyes left and cold symptoms began. Too tired to exercise.

(c) now the cold is passing and I am slowly regaining energy.

 

I still wake up groggy though, I can't wait for that to pass. My favorite part about eating raw is how it makes me jump out of bed in the morning. It's very uncharacteristic for me to be sleeping in til 7:30 like I have been. Usually in the summertime I am wide awake and eager to get out of bed, as soon as the sun wakes me up around 5:30. You know you're going to have a good day when that happens. But my body has been tired this year... I hope we can get through this cleansing and get perky again soon!

G-RAW-nola

Tonight we had sprout granola for dinner, with strawberry sauce and "Juliano's whipped cream" topping from Carol Alt's book. The whipped cream isn't very light or fluffly since it's made from walnuts, but it's really yummy! There is an orange/almond flavor. For the granola, I used buckwheat sprouts and quinoa sprouts. I am excited I finally found a way to eat quinoa that is digestible and not yucky. I pureed the quinoa sprouts with raisins, honey, and cinnamon. Then I mixed this puree in with the buckwheat sprouts to make a crumbly granola base. The strawberry sauce is just blended strawberries (you can add oil and honey to make it richer).

Well my son didn't eat much but my husband gobbled up his entire large serving! That in itself is a success. My son was craving fruit today and ate mostly just cantaloupe and a ton of grapes all day. I am letting him follow his appetite for the most part, but tomorrow I'll make some green juice and encourage him to eat that. I am also going to entice him to eat sprouts by making Lara Bars out of them. He won't know the difference.

the moody mystery

I'm having an extremely moody day. RAWR! I just need a punching bag. What is up with this, it happens more when I eat raw. (When I don't, I'm just tired) Did I eat too much? Is it like a surplus of sugar fuel and no outlet? Or maybe the fruit just isn't good for me..... The health maze is just this endless puzzle. There are great books and articles that sound fabulous, but then I try to put it into action and, well, I guess it depends on the body. I need to go by how I feel, not the theoreticals - but it's so hard to feel good in a lasting way. It's like whenever I feel good, it's just a fake high. The ongoing problem is: I want to eat - I overeat - I feel stuffed up and tired - I get irritable. The closest I have come to stability is when I eat a low-carb diet. So that would be like the pH diet -- sprout salads, avocados, lots of nonsweet fruit like cukes, tomatoes, bell peppers, and tons of veggies. I just keep fearing the high fat, or that it's not enough calories, or I miss my fruit too much...... *sigh*

The endless pursuit of health.

I am thinking of going to see this naturepath that helped my friend with leaky gut. I need to find out why I want to eat so much, why I don't digest it well, what I can do to heal. It would probably be a high-raw Body Ecology Diet. That means no fruit. That's probably what it's coming down to....

I'm not giving up.

Out of the closet!

I made the big leap and announced our raw foods lifestyle on our public family blog. That is a HUGE step for me. For one thing it means I have to stick with it. But also it means I am comfortable in my own skin and don't care what they think. Did you know I actually started this Pulling Daisies blog so I could have a secret, anonymous place to talk about raw foods and UC? Well I haven't opened the closet door on the UC yet, although I've hinted plenty of times. I also haven't been talking about Aspergers with anybody (unless they figured it out when I said gluten and casein affect his behavior) so now that is all out too.

1st raw-kid challenge overcome!

Rychen loves nuts but won't eat them soaked. For a while I just didn't feed him nuts. But today I had the "brilliant" (or obvious) idea to blow-dry them. (Besides, dry almonds make such a better almond butter! Mmmm - great baby good)

 

Also - to work in GREENS - anything you make in the blender, you can start with some greens and mix it in. This afternoon we made Green Banana Ice Cream. Just blend an entire bunch of spinach and water first, and then add the bananas. Get your blender in good motion and add them slowly while it's churning, so it doesn't stop it up. Keep adding them until your blender starts to move across the counter! :)  That means it's thick enough for a good ice cream.

Raw Families yahoo group

I created this yahoo group for raw families in my area to meet up. But everybody is free to join for the conversation, if you want. It's called Mid-Willamette Raw Food Families. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mw_rawfood_families. I am hoping to get a good group, perhaps I'll post a sign at the library. Ideally we'll meet up for potlucks and kid play time a few times a month.

Mixed families

I think about this from time to time. There isn't much online about mixed families. Why not? Are we all hiding from the truth, pretending like we all eat 100% raw all the time? Of course some do, but I know most of the moms on the rawpregnancy group don't have raw husbands. I think we need to discuss this more. Maybe I will get some ideas and write an e-book or something. One idea I have is to make a recipe book of easy-to-modify recipes, where your non-raw family member can enjoy the same meal with you, just modifying their plate a bit. If there are others of you who have ideas, maybe we should compile them.

We used to do that a lot (modifying meals). But now, like I said, I serve a raw dinner and my husband can join us if he wants (sometimes he politely says he is not hungry yet, and he'll join us and drink some water!) and then he eats more after kids go to bed.

I am curious about YOUR family. Does your husband eat like you? Does he eat vegetarian or SAD? Does he eat some of your raw foods? How have you decided to raise your kids?

And I also want to know, how has it affected your marriage? It used to be a barrier for us, because I used to be self-righteous about it. But now I have learned to be flexible and remember my priorities. But we'll see how it goes when I am 100% and he is SAD.

Now the nitty gritty

So what am I eating? I have been eating mostly fruit, with a dinner meal of sprouts, veggies, and a moderate amount of fat (combined in some sort of recipe). I need to make sure I am getting sprouts, greens, and cultured veggies every day. Right now I have several jars of delicious sauerkraut that I made last fall, and actually has stored and aged quite nicely! So I better get to work making more so they'll be ready when this much is gone. It's a lot of work to keep up with the timing of sprouting, culturing, and ripening fruit. But I need to do this. I also need to stay stocked on pantry items like sun-dried tomatoes, wakame, nori sheets, sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, walnuts, pecans, almonds (I don't know for sure that walnuts and pecans are unheated in their shelling process, but for now I am keeping those in my diet. The almonds are truly-raw though.) and legumes to sprout: chickpeas, lentils, mung, adzukis.

So that's what I eat. Sprouts, nuts/seeds, greens, fruit, cultured veggies, sea veggies. Trying to keep my fat moderate (dinnertime only, and mixed with plenty of veggies). We'll see if I have yeast issues, if so I will need to go 80/10/10. I can only say we'll see.

Here is a list of successful meals we've made so far.

raw hummus
raw taco salad
raw lasagna (with walnut ricotta)
raw pesto noodles
raw nut burgers
mostly-raw veggie wraps (in a corn tortillas)
buckwheat cereal with raisins
buckwheat cereal with almonds and strawberry sauce
guacamole and veggies
veggie/avo wraps in nori sheets
sprout/avocado salads (various dressings and combos)

I say successful because, while I eat mostly anything, Rychen is pickier. I can't just say "We're having salad for dinner." But he will eat these. My husband will eat most of those too, although he won't get full on them. Usually my husband cooks another dinner after the kids go to bed. And that is perfectly fine with me.

My WHY

I am so excited to see what will happen to us. This is already the longest Rychen has ever gone without gluten, because even before we still took the sacrament at church. Only now have I stepped up to say NO GLUTEN WHATSOEVER, we will bring our own sacrament "bread." So far it's been a bit over 2 weeks. Once before he went 2 weeks because of General Conference, and that second week he was an ANGEL. So that is why I want to give it up completely and I am excited to see what kind of sweet boy I will have.

I am also excited to see if I will be moody anymore. If I will have more energy. If I can stop this insane bloating. If my face will be clearer (I don't wear make-up, but sometimes I think I need some concealer). If my skin will be less jiggly. If I have more sex drive (cuz its been a long dry spell ever since my first conception)! And if I will be satisfied with a meal without being hungry all the time (I am less hungry when I eat raw, go figure. It's the malnourishment thing).

Okay this is my "WHY." I remember several months ago, Jinjee sent a Raw Daily Inspiration about this. What is your WHY? Write it down and post it. WHY are you eating raw? WHY will you say NO to junk foods? So I need to hang this up somewhere.

What is YOUR Why?

Big Thoughts, Big Goals

I don't know what to title this post. This is THE BIG, groundbreaking post. I am DONE eating junk.

This past week of cleansing has really opened my eyes, and several other things have gotten me thinking and reflecting. First of all, THANK YOU for asking me why I couldn't keep myself raw. It made me ponder a TON, and get after myself somewhat. Here are all the events that led up to this.

(1) I am raising children now, old enough that they are picking up on everything, learning by my example, and the groundwork for their health is being laid. Rychen (my son, who is turning 4 soon) has gone through times of less-than-ideal eating as I have, because I feed him what I eat. I don't want to do that to Elisabeth. It's NOT FAIR for her. She is a clean slate and I want to keep her clean.

(2) My son has been gluten-free since Elisabeth was born but I had forgotten how bad his Aspergers was, so I got to thinking it didn't make any difference. We let him have gluten again for a week or two and he was a monster child. This made me want to get serious about his diet, not only gluten/casein but also as much raw foods as possible, for optimal digestion, assimilation (I suspect he didn't get the best nutrition from my pregnancy, and I already see his addictive eating patterns, telling me he's malnourished) not to mention HEALING. So focus on greens and sprouts!

(3) My mom happened to be here when this occured, and she told me something I never thought about - what if I am gluten-intolerant too? What if that is why I am a monster-mommy sometimes? (Aspergers affects our emotional processing and anxiety levels. I am finally seeing that I have Aspergers too, to some extent, and that also explains my social awkwardness)

(4) Speaking with an old friend who has similar digestive issues, a light finally went on: HELLO, ANNALISE, you have leaky gut syndrome. You NEED to get OFF gluten and casein FOR GOOD, follow the Body Ecology Diet with cultured veggies, and HEAL YOURSELF!! Seriously, how long does this have to go on? I have never seen doctors and have gone on my merry little way, dealing with my issues as best I can and not getting diagnosed. Sometimes I wonder what I could be diagnosed with. Growing up I am pretty sure I have chronic fatigue/huge yeast problems, and bi-polar disorder with the Aspergers. I *hope* this explains my irritability/"monster-mommy" issues, but the only gluten I eat on a regular basis is sprouted Ezekiel tortillas. Then again, if my bowel is damaged, it's probably just the starch and indigestion in general making me like that. Wouldn't it be wonderful if I can heal and thereafter put on some healthy weight and do some body building? That is my dream. I need to think more on this and maybe focus on that to keep me motivated.

(5) This cleansing has been AWFUL. Mucous is coming out of me - and my kids - like you wouldn't believe. I have felt so clogged up, so foggy, so TIRED. And it's one thing to endure that with yourself, but with KIDS????? I hate to see my kids miserable, and I hate to see their poor bodies JUNKED up and overflowing with mucous. GROSS. It really makes me sad to see Elisabeth cleansing because she has never once eaten cooked food - it's all from my toxic dumpland breastmilk. This really makes me sad. She is innocent and yet look at her, so sick and miserable. It breaks my heart. We have been cleansing off and on for 2 weeks now. Today I almost missed the sacrament (communion at church) for the third week, due to this miserable junk coming out of our bodies. Elisabeth and I are feeling horrible today but I wanted to go to church just for the sacrament. We brought our own gluten-free sacrament to be blessed (and will do so from now on). Anyway, it was time for a nap and she just started melting down before the sacrament. I took her to the mothers lounge (I was wearing a button-down shirt and didn't feel comfortable nursing in there, or in the lobby) to see if I could calm her down quickly. In the meantime I cried a prayer to God, I am so sorry, and I am ready to take better care of my family. She wasn't going to sleep and I felt a strong urge to go take the sacrament. So I wiped my tears and buttoned my shirt, and got out there as quick as I can. She was fussy the whole time and people probably thought why I took a sneezy, snotty, crying baby to church. But darn it, I took the sacrament! And then we came home. (My Christianity is very central and important to me, and the sacrament is the ordinance where I witness that I am a Christian).

So this past week or two I have been eating all raw with Rychen (and Elisabeth, but she mostly just nurses still). After just a couple days, he got a cleansing fever, and a few days after that, this cold began. He has lost weight because he hasn't had much of an appetite, once the stimulating foods were removed. Or maybe he just looks skinnier because FOR THE FIRST TIME he actually has a flat stomach. All the starch and yeast problems have made him continually bloated, and now he actually has a flat stomach. Literally, THE first time since he was a baby. He has been more calm and mellow, and a sweetheart. He is DEFINITELY more rational when he is off gluten and mostly raw. I pray to God that I don't forget this and make the same mistake again. I never want to see my son acting like a special-ed Aspergers kid again.

I am done. I really, really, really am so sick of this. I am ready to say this now: We are a raw family (the term raw-foodist still bothers me, for some reason). I am ready to be labeled and ready to go public. We are bringing our own food when we go to public functions. We are packing fun, raw, irresistible snacks wherever we go. Somehow God prepared me, and I think I am ready now. I don't care about the label, and I don't care about people. I pray that they understand why we can't eat their food, but regardless, this is how we eat.

I need to come up with ways to make sure I stay committted. How lucky I am that RAW MOM SUMMIT is this week!!! I think I will feel really inspired and supported. Here are my other ways to support myself in this.

(a) blog often. If nothing else, blog what I am eating and how we are feeling (what we're doing with all our energy!)
(b) always have at least one raw food book out that I refer to often (this motivates me really well).
(c) keep my fridge stocked up on everything. The trick with kids is they need options, and I can't be lazy or spontaneous the way I am with myself.
(d) Ask my husband to support us. So far he is pretty good and has supported me on the roller coaster journey. My husband eats his own way and apparently doesn't even eat vegan the way he used to, but I give him the freedom to do that. I love him and he's my priority, even over any health goals. But I ask that he try not to make it tempting for myself and the kids.

Now I ask this of YOU. Comment on my posts, help me feel encouraged. Tell me your favorite websites and RAW MOM blogs. I actually haven't spent much time online looking at those things, so I don't know many. And please egg me on. Here's a secret, you may have noticed. When I go for more than a week without posting, you can bet its because I am not eating great and hence having nothing to blog about. If that happens, keep me accountable! Flood my inbox and bother me to death until I come back.

Who else is struggling with temptation and needs help? Should we yahoo group together? What can we do? Share recipes? And any other tips for me?

homeschooling update

I have been thinking more about homeschooling lately. I read a book that reminded me of the great reasons to do it. I don't really have any beef with the public school system, I just don't like how much time it takes. I don't think a child's life should be only about education. They need time to play, explore, and develop talents they are interested in. But they can't do those things much when they are doing school and homework 40 hours a week. I really feel that homeschooling is good for strengthening families, at least in our situation. It's best for kids to be taught and nurtured by their own parents, instead of a government institution. I am not saying that its best for everybody but these are the impressions that come to be as I consider this with my kids, or at least Rychen. I look back on myself as a kid - there were so many things I was interested in learning, but I didn't because it wasn't on the curriculum. But by the time it comes up, if I have lost that interest, I am not going to enjoy it much. Or things that just aren't offered at all--like when I was 10 I got really interested in architecture. If I had been homeschooled, I would have spent a lot of time doing home designs on the computer and could have read some grown-up books about it. I could have really developed that skill.

 

So I am learning about some different options, I think what we will do is unschool with a bit of structure, and some books like lapbooking (www.handofachild.com) and some fun textbooks. But I won't impose any learning that he isn't attracted to - it needs to stay fun. We'll incorporate learning in all our daily activities. Basically we'll just continue doing what we've been doing for 4 years now - and it's worked really well so far!

 

We are doing the summer reading program now, through the public library. We're going to do both story books and non-fiction. We check books out on whatever he is asking about, like last week he had a lot of questions about space. Or if he watches a cartoon that has knights, he wants to know what those are all about, etc. What a fun way to learn! So I could construct a unit on these topics, as he is interested in them, and we could make our own lapbook on it.

 

I think we'll do no more than 2 school hours a day (for this coming year), and provide plenty of time for play - like developing music and athletic talents (he could do scooter and basketball for hours! I think that is a great thing, not to be stifled). I do want to incorporate bible study though. What we started doing already is keeping a book log when we read a book or a bible story, and we talk about the story and write a paragraph "book report" about it. Then do any applicable activities. For example, we read the story of Daniel and King N., and then watched the Veggie Tales movie "Rack, Shack, and Benny" and did a Venn-Diagram to compare and contrast the two stories. He thought that was fun, so naturally that led us to do more Venn-Diagrams, about apples/oranges, or mom/dad, and other things. It's fun to be spontaneous and just teach him as it comes, like that. But I also want to follow a few books to get some ideas on what to introduce to him.

 

Other concepts come up just as we talk. Like we were crossing the street the other day and he ran diagonal, which takes longer and hence is not as safe. So I taught him about perpendicular lines and angles.

 

I'm no expert, but homeschooling is pretty easy when your kid has Aspergers. LOL. He asks questions about EVERYTHING and listens to my adult-language answer, and remembers it. I'm going to raise such a nerd! ha ha! But Aspergers also means he is stubborn as heck and will refuse an activity that doesn't interest him. So what better learning style that this? It should work out well.

It was magical

Sometimes I stop and remember my pregnancy with Elisabeth. Something about it was so magical. Yesterday I was just reflecting on it, I was in our temple in my favorite place where I used to do some meditating during my pregnancy. At the time I was communing with God in hopes of creating the birth I visualized. It was so magical. This was my first time returning to that special place, after about 10 months. It seems so long ago, when I was pregnant. Well, today I was looking back through my journal at all the excitement I had in me, the affirmations, all the emotional work I did to create my UC dream. It was just so magical, like I was a different person. Hard to explain but its weird to think about. It was definitely a blessing, a gift from God that I was able to keep myself in such a place mentally, as I was so on-fire, so peaceful, devoted, committed. When I was pondering all of this in the temple, I was impressed that there is something special about Elisabeth, God supported me in that special pregnancy. It wasn't me. God needed to keep her pure, she is just a special spirit with an important work to do. I still feel she is very special, just the way she is so enchanting and happy. I am so lucky to be her mom! I look forward to my next pregnancy, I hope it can be like that again. Or maybe that is just pregnancy in general, a magical time! - if the mom is in-tune enough to feel it (saying, perhaps that is why I didn't feel so magical in my first pregnancy). Well I have been thinking about another baby lately. For a while we felt really overwhelmed with our children, the way our son was acting out, thinking maybe 2 kids is good. But now I have felt closer to God and so much more positive about being a mom. I want to be a mom to more kids, it's just the most noble calling and the most enriching, rewarding experience in life. I definitely want more kids. Not right now, of course, but I do look forward to the time when I will have a magical pregnancy again!

More thoughts on eating 100% raw

I wanted to add a bit more after getting that question about why I quote "yo yo" back and forth. I don't consider myself a yo-yo'er, I don't eat cooked food as a way of bingeing or making up for lost meals, or out of guilt or anything. I feel good about my eating decisions. The reason I don't commit myself to a permanent all raw diet is because I don't want to. Maybe I will one day. Well I probably will one day. But right now I am not ready to commit myself to that. It's a big decision that needs to be made rationally, with some time and prayer, not to mention experience. I have the needs of my family to consider. But as I reflect over my decisions over the past few years and lessons I have learned as I do go back and forth, I would say it's eventually heading that way. Bit by bit we are giving up more foods for good. And so it only makes sense that eventually we'll give up cooked food for good.

A part of me isn't ready to be labeled as a "raw foodist" because then I am stuck to it. Or maybe the extreme feel of it scares me away. It's almost like I would do it if there wasn't a label for it. If I didn't think about it so much. If I could just be somebody who eats my food raw, instead of a "raw foodist." So for now, when people ask me what's up with my diet, I tell them I eat whole foods vegan, mostly raw. When I am avoiding most cooked foods, I tell them I don't digest starch well, and I eat my salad.

It's kind of a two steps forward, one step back type of thing. Because as my kids grow and different things arise, we have to find out how to best adjust to it. For instance, I got a bit more relaxed about my son's diet when we started getting involved in a mom's group and seeing kids more often. He got old enough to be curious about their food, and I didn't feel that it was right to be the food police (depends on the kid, but with his personality I think that would just create resentment and rebellion--exactly what I did when my mom forced healthy food on me growing up). I thought it was more valuable to him to play with these kids and learn to eat snack food in moderation than to have guilt and bingeing habits. But we did that for a while and I saw that he actually was NOT building good relationships with these kids, he was acting out more, and so it wasn't worth it. That was a lesson I had to learn from experience.

Life is about learning, and it's about more than eating some utopian diet. Relationships are important. Give and take is important. And learning to make good eating choices for the right reasons is essential. I am enjoying this journey, even with the stumbles along the way. I feel good about it.

Detox?

My son developed a fever and congestion through the night, after eating 4 days mostly raw and as he gets away from the stimulating foods, he isn't eating as much period. So I wonder if this is a detox from getting the starch out of his system. (He usually is a big eater, loving his beans, rice, millet, etc)  We'll see how long it lasts. He is being very lethargic so far today but still in a pretty good mood, and eating lightly.

Elisabeth eating off my plate

Elisabeth now has 7 teeth. She is not even 10 months old! Today was the first time she ate off my plate, because I was actually eating something baby-food consistency! Zucchini noodles with avocado-pesto sauce. She could have both. Her first try at garlic and she actually liked it. Personal victory :)  So yes, we're doing fats with her now. I think I will try almond butter soon. I am going to make a blend with some greens/veggies too (for instance, the pesto sauce was half avo and half blended zucchini, to cut down on the fat).

Back on 100%

Got fed up with my digestion again, so I am eating all raw. (Also I was just irritable all the time!) When Jinjee said to eat 100% for 3 months to see what a difference it makes, I thought, Why not. I at least owe it to myself. Now is the perfect time--summer, garden share, Elisabeth is eating solids, and my son needs a strict diet to help with his behavior. My mom was in town this past week so I fed her raw (what a better way to spend your vacation than detoxing? heh). Our yummy meals included taco salad, lasagna, pesto pasta, and buckwheat salad, but we ate mostly fruit. 

 

The taco salad was a personal victory because I thought it up myself, and it solves the amazing question of how to give up our favorite vegan mexican dishes (5 nights a week around here). I had some sprouted Adzuki beans when I had this idea. I just blended them up with a bit of oil and taco seasoning, fresh garlic and scallions, to make the refried beans. Then stirred it over lettuce, cilantro, tomatoes, etc. to make a taco salad. If you want to add chips, you can make dehydrated corn chips pretty easily. Just blend up some corn and make a paste on a dehydrator sheet.

 

The lasagna I also made up. At first I wanted to show my mom how we can make an awesome ricotta "cheese" using tofu. But that was the day I wanted to go raw, so I changed it up. I just used soaked walnuts instead, so mixed those with italian seasoning, fresh basil, and that makes the cheese. The sauce is sun-dried tomatoes, basil, and spices. Use a mandolin to make thin, flat zucchini "noodles" (If you make spaghetti style noodles and leave off the walnuts, you will have a great marinara dish instead).

 

To make a basic grain salad, use buckwheat or sprouted kamut, or even mung/lentil sprouts. Add in chopped veggies and choose your dressing. Something like lemon/olive oil/garlic, or apple cider vinegar/aminos/oil. Cilantro adds a nice touch. Make sure to get your green onions, and if you have green garlic we love that stuff too!

 

Can I do 3 months? We'll see. I am more serious this time, since it affects my kids too. They are learning eating habits. Food affects us bad too. My son pretty much has Aspergers syndrome... IF he is eating gluten, dairy, processed food. If not, he is just an extremely verbal, bright 4-year-old. I am working veggies in whenever I can. I am not going to force him to eat all raw but I am keeping certain foods out of the house, avoiding social eating until we establish some favorite raw food treats, and changing some meals so that veggies are everywhere and if there is a cooked component, there is only one. Like with burritos that we normally eat, I took the beans out. Now they are just veggie wraps (corn or rice organic tortillas). In three days, my son has eaten all raw except a few tortillas with lots of veggies. Oh--and he LOVES the mandolin! Our new best friend. No better way to get a kid eating veggies than to let them cut them into fun shapes. (It's worth the bandaid! hee hee) So I am keeping a log of his favorite foods and recipes we try. Also using sprouting as much as possible to keep costs low.

thoughts and prayers

A midwife many of us know and love, who goes by SageFemme online, recently delivered a baby who passed away shortly after birth. I understand she is deeply affected, and I hate to think what might come her way from anti-homebirth organizations. Please pray for her, and for the mother, and others affected.