Successful outing and EC

So yesterday we stayed out a lot longer than I intended. But once I got out of the house, I had really good energy and loved being out! We went to the farmers market and I carried Elisabeth in a Mei Tai. Then we walked over to the mall and shopped a bit. After that we rode a bus back to West Salem where we went to Storytime at the library and bought some things at the grocery store.

We were killing time waiting for my husband to pick us up, so in the meantime we went into the post office and weighed Elisabeth on the self-service scale!! She is now 7 lbs. 7 oz. which I was happy about, to see a net gain already. With Rychen, he was an entire pound lighter even at one week old! (my milk didn't come in for 4 or 5 days!) But I am in no hurry for this girl to grow. She is so adorable and precious being small. How funny that I wanted an 8-lb baby, thinking how delicate and fragile small babies are. But now that I have one, I LOVE it!! Her teeny arms and feet just make me twitter-pated! :-)

EC keeps getting better. I have got her pee cues down and I have been doing well at catching it. She pees upon waking - she will stir, and then start to fuss and arch her back. So I hold her over a bowl and sure enough, just as the fussing dies down, she is urinating. Then she sort of goes "Aaah" and settles back into a comfortable position. Poops I still have no idea, so we just wash out the prefold when it gets dirty. She tends to let out a little bit every time she passes gas, instead of one big bowel movement. I have caught a few poos, only when she was peeing anyway. Oh well, I am sure we'll catch on soon enough. Also, sometimes we put her in a tee shirt and pants (bare bum underneath) and if she poops a bit on them, we just throw them in the wash and put a clean pair on, just as you'd do with a cloth diaper anyway.

Yesterday while we were out, I had a diaper on her and a one-sie. She slept mostly the whole time and kept it dry, but during Storytime she started stirring. I hadn't thought that I would potty her in public, but then my instinct was getting me up and to the bathroom! I held her over the sink so she could pee, easy enough. I could definitely do this in public. Just as you go find a restroom when you have to go, or when your toddler has to go, why not give your baby the same privilege? I don't see it as inconvenient. Or, with the way they go on demand so well, you could just potty them whenever you are in a restroom or close to one anyway. Well, she didn't end up going --- she had already gone in the diaper. But I was pleased just seeing how easy I could have done it.

Then I didn't want to put the dirty diaper back on, so she just wore her pants. Well, sure enough, a half hour later she had dirtied them! No big deal, I just took it all in stride. Without getting up from where I was in the library, I quietly used her pants to wipe her clean, put them in a ziplock bag I had packed for just that reason, and put clean pants on. Easy!! Really, the more I do this, I am realizing, You do this anyway with a diaper. So why not just leave the diaper off? You can change clothes just as easily as you change a diaper, and it all comes off in the wash, so what difference does it make?

Having said that, I will tell you it definitely helps to have them wearing two peices, not one of those one-peice things that are so popular. So we have just bought lots of tees and pants to make EC easy. You can find these pretty cheap when you get a pack at Walmart, or get lots of pants from a second-hand store. Also I have seen infant tee shirts at Dollar Tree. We still have some cute one-peice outfits for when she wears a diaper and we're out of the house, but generally I keep her in either two peices, or a gown that you can lift right up.

Another benefit to this is that you clean up the poop immediatley, not after it's gotten caked on. The poo of a breastfeeding baby is so moist and easy to wipe with a dry cloth. I imagine this is much more comfortable than a cold, wet wipe (and chemical-laden!).

Just now, Elisabeth woke up fussing. I caught her pee but she kept fussing, so I could tell that some poo was coming. But it took several minutes and she appeared to be very uncomfortable. So I held her in a squat, let her suck on my finger for relief (she didn't want to nurse) and also massaged her colon. After a few minutes she was able to pass it. I felt so thankful to be in-tune to her needs. Without EC, the mom wouldn't know why she was fussing and would just try to give general comfort without being able to offer a helpful solution. I am so glad to be in-tune, and to know what's going on! It would be so hard to have a crying baby and have no idea what you could do to relieve them. Hooray for EC!

I am also noticing how much stronger my instincts are this time, compared to with Rychen. I suppose those appropriate labor hormones did us good, and we really bonded. She was fussing at the post office yesterday, and I looked around for a place to nurse. There wasn't a single chair. But she stopped fussing anyhow, and I was able to delay nursing until we got back to the library. But I had the thought, If my baby cries, I don't CARE where I am or who is looking. I instinctively pull up my shirt and offer the breast. How could I not? She is my priority. It's not even a choice or a conscious thought, it's totally instinctual, like a reflexive action. She needs to nurse, you nurse her. What else matters?

Want my body back

At 1-week postpartum, I am generally pleased with my progress getting my body back. My pooch looks like a pooch, not like a pregnant tummy now. With the right shirt it's barely noticeable, but obviously it's still there, considering how flat I used to be. I didn't think I was putting extra weight on during pregnancy but now I can definitely tell the difference in my butt and thighs, especially when I attempt to put on my regular clothes! So before I was wearing 3's and 5's and now I can squeeze into a 7 or wear a 9 comfortably. So strange... My pre-pregnancy weight was about 118, and I topped out at 143, right at 25 lbs. (Exactly what I wanted, though I didn't regulate my weight gain) but I was disappointed that after the birth I was at 133, only 10 lbs. lighter (I had lost an immediate 30 lbs with my son! Half of which was retained water, yuck!) So we'll see what happens now. I can't make my diet any lighter, lol! So we'll just see how effective this diet is. After one week, I am at 131.

 

I am generally very satisfied with my body. I wouldn't mind staying where I am at, except that I have ZERO CLOTHING and no money to outfit an entire new wardrobe!! I am not even going to be a stickler about getting back to my "pre-pregnancy weight." I just want to fit in my clothes again, really. I have let go of caring what the scale says. I'd rather feel good, have good energy, look good in my clothes, and forget the rest.

 

I am eating all raw for now, probably until I see enough loss that I feel comfortable backing off. So what I eat is this:

• Daily green smoothie (whole blender full) with flax
• Entire bunch of bananas
• Juicy sweet fruit like melon, peaches, grapes
• Daily salad with avocado lemon ginger dressing (1 avocado) or guacamole and veggies
• Nutmilk shake if I am still hungry (handful pecans and bananas)

Also I am going to go back to soaking buckwheat and oat groats so I can have something heavier, on days I have a bigger appetite. I don't really get into raw recipes since it requires specific ingredients (I never got into recipes, cooked or raw). I just play it simple and graze on fruit and avocados, making a smoothie for the most complicated meal.

 

Last night we made pesto with basil, pecans, olive oil, and garlic. I put this over shredded zucchini "noodles" which was very yummy, but I couldn't finish my bowl! I could really tell the difference, not having had oil in a long time. It was a little Icky feeling afterward, with some cramps, and I was thinking "I don't feel this bad eating cooked starch!" Maybe it's true, it's better to do low-fat with some cooked, than 100% raw high-fat. Then again, I just hadn't had oils in so long that my body was reacting how you'd expect. Well, I do handle avocados well so I am going to stick to 100% raw, just not too much oil. I feel great about a delicious avocado in its natural state. Oil really doesn't have that same natural appeal to your senses, now does it?

1 week pp

Wow, it's been a week already!? I have hardly left my bed. It's been a sweet babymoon / healing time. I am so blessed to have my mom here to play with Rychen and to prepare lots of fruit meals, and keep things clean! My husband is so supportive and also helpful with anything I need, especially emotionally as I adjust.

 

So I had tons of energy the first 24 hours, we even had some relatives over for a "Birthday party" the day after the birth. But since then I have been wiped out, and was taking it easy for my tear to heal. I think it's pretty much healed now. I have been taking baths to ease the discomfort but usually get interrupted by Elisabeth wanting to nurse! But now that her cord has fallen off, she came in the bath with me and loved it! We are not using any soap products on her, just water--the same as I do for myself.

 

Rychen, my son, is doing really well. He adores Elisabeth, and likes to hold her or hug her. He has special jobs, like taking out the trash, and everytime she pees, he gets to empty the bowl. I think he likes being involved with this effort. It's exciting to him since he recently potty trained himself, so he is all about going pee and poop! He also joins me in singing our song to Elisabeth, Cutie girl Cutie girl, How do you do? Cutie girl, Cutie girl, I love you!! etc. (to the tune of Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear)

 

Today I am leaving the house to go to the farmer market. I want Elisabeth to get some fresh air, and for my own sanity of course! (and to pick out some great produce! the fridge is bare!) We'll see how she does in the car. I wanted to ride the bus, but the fare is just too expensive now, and the market isn't very far away.

 

I feel like an exclusive member of the UC club now, and feel a special bond with any other mother who has done it or is dreaming of doing it. There are several others who God has brought to me, mostly online. It's great to feel community with such a unique interest. I wasn't planning on keeping up with my blog, but now there seems to be a special responsibility to share my experiernces and invite others to do the same, giving them information and support. I will also log my adventures with EC of course, and other natural mothering things, as well as my diet.

 

I am still eating all fruit during the day and then a heavier meal for dinner. So far it's been low fat vegan, but now I am focusing on all raw, and a little bit more fat. We'll see how that works for me. Tonight we're going to make raw pesto sauce over zucchini noodles, and I also look forward to simple veggies dipped in guacamole. Yesterday I made a milkshake with pecan milk and bananas. Oh, one other thing to note is how much more I like bananas now. During pregnancy I didn't really like them, and I just craved juicy fruit. But now I am leaning more toward the concentrated foods. I have been eating a ton of raisins, for example. So I am relieved to be doing bananas again, because they are cheaper, more filling, and just so easy and convenient!

Crash

Well, you know, endorphin highs don't last forever. I wanted to quickly mention my feelings yesterday, so that you can see the whole story, not just what I can brag about. The first day or two after delivery, I was up and about, wearing clothes, having visitors, feeling great. It wasn't until 24 hours after delivery that I realized I had a bad tear. But I still ignored it. Anyway on Saturday I got my milk in, and my tear was very sore that I stayed in bed all day, and my nipples are a bit sore from nursing. I think the latch is fine, but just having big nipples and a little mouth, there is not much room for the areola. So there I was engorged, scabbed nipples, sore torn bottom, and the endorphins had abandoned me! So I was left to pity myself. I also felt very helpless, being left in bed and having to call out and have everything done for me. My wonderful husband faced his fears, held his breath, and made me a placenta smoothie. Bless him! My good mother has been entertaining my son all this time. We've had some meals brought to us, and my good neighbor asked me my favorite food and picked up lots of fruit for me. We are so blessed. It's good for me to be humbled and have to rely on others.

 

P.S. The placenta doesn't taste as good when you are out of labor land! I'll leave it at that.

Caught first poo!

(If you're wondering whether I am going to post everytime I make a catch, the answer is yes! haha) So poop is a little tricky. I don't get much warning. But I really wanted a poop. Elisabeth didn't poop at all yesterday, so I figured she'd probably go upon waking this morning. So I tried holding her over the bowl and waiting...well, that gets old fast. (It's kind of awkward to hold a 7 lb. baby like that. I guess we need to experiment and find a better position) So what I did was just pay attention to her and wait, thinking I would put her over the bowl as soon as it started. So that's what we did! I still didn't notice any cue, but she was certainly concentrating in silence as she went. So I did get most of it in the bowl! I just hope I catch on to cues somehow so I don't have to keep guessing. Well I am confident I'll get it soon!

 

While I held her over the bowl as she was bearing down, I said "We'll have to make up a poop song to sing while we wait." And here's how it goes. :)  (One day you'll hear this on my album)

 

This is your poop song, your poop song, poop poop, poop poop poop!

We are waiting, we're waiting, poop poop, for your poop!

Delivering a baby

Mostly we just say we had a homebirth, but if it's somebody we trust (and/or if they ask specifically) we do tell them that it was just the two of us. So, twice we got this response: "Oh, Rychen delivered the baby?" With my dad, I could show my gut reaction: "What!? No, Rychen didn't deliver the baby!! I DID!!"

 

I just think it's interesting that that is the assumption. Whoever is there besides the laboring woman must have delivered the baby. But what does that mean anyway? To catch the baby? Or is it just a general term for supervising the labor? If the latter, then I guess it's understandable. But if it simply means to catch the baby.........why can't the mom do that? Maybe this idea just came from a generation of people who think of birth as laying on her back, or even sitting up, etc.--a position where you need "a deliverer."

 

What do you think?

3-2-1- EC!

I peed my baby for the first time today! Cool! And it's so easy. She had just peed like 10 minutes prior but I tried it anyway, just saying "Ssssh" as I held her over a bowl. And she did it! Very cool.

 

Yesterday something happened and now I know about that instinct thing - I have heard a couple moms tell stories like this. So Elisabeth was laying naked on a prefold. I had this random thought "Maybe she has to poop, since she just ate," but I just dismissed it. Not one minute later, I noticed she had pooped onto the prefold!! How crazy. So I thought, I better start trying to hold her when I have those thoughts.

 

So I don't notice any cues yet. How do I get her to poop on demand? Or do I just wait until I know what her cues are, and give it a try when I get that instinctual nudge?

Elisabeth's Birth Story

[warning: nudity ahead! You may want to shoo your children. I have chosen to publish these photographs because I feel it's important for the public to understand normal childbirth.]

Elisabeth Diane Jones was born August 20, 2008 into mom's hands, with only Dad present. We were blessed with a beautiful, gentle, very positive, unhindered birth.

I started having contractions that day (the day after her due date) while at the park with Rychen (brother) and my mom. I didn't recognize them because they felt like cramps (and I had been having a lot of gas) which is pretty different from the contractions with Rychen's birth. Anyway, they were very irregular so I didn't pay attention until I realized "Hey, this cramping is off and on, and it keeps coming!" I started wondering if I was in labor, but still didn't take it seriously because every little thing lately had me thinking I was in labor!

When we got home, I got busy. (I didn't look at the clock, but probably 11:30?) It wasn't a rational thought. I still wasn't thinking "I am in labor." I just felt that I should clean things up. I picked up toys, pausing every few minutes for a contraction. As they kept coming, I began to do more birth preparation things like preparing many snacks for my son, and making sure everything I wanted for the birth was upstairs. Also, I was THIRSTY!! I kept chugging down water. I had made a special labor drink - water with chlorophyll, wheatgrass juice, lemon juice, and red raspberry tea. Also, I was shaking for some reason. I guess excitement. My voice was shaky when I spoke to him.

I just kept bustling around the house instinctually, wondering when I should call my husband. I didn't want to call too soon, and I never thought "I am in labor," so I kept putting it off (also, my mom was hanging out, I never told her either). At 12:40 or so, I was in the kitchen and noticed I was stopping and breathing through each contraction, and I had three in a row. Suddenly it hit me, and I thought "I need to call Rychen!" I told him I was in labor but it was hard to judge how serious it was. The contractions kept coming but weren't lasting very long (I think they were coming every 3 minutes or so). At that point I didn't really feel I needed him, I told him "Just come when you can." But by the time he got home, I was thinking "Where is he!!!!!!?"

A funny thing happened while I waited for him. I was getting a text message ready to send to the midwives on call, to say "FYI I'm in labor" and then I had an incoming text from my Sister-in-law saying "Congrats!" I was so confused, and then terrified once I realized what happened -- a few days earlier I had drafted a text saying "Baby is born! We'll call you later" to send to our immediate family. Somehow, it got sent! Everybody thought I had had the baby! But I forgot who all I had sent it to. And I don't know much about texting, so here I was in active labor trying to figure out my phone, and calling back to say "oops" all while pretending I wasn't in labor currently! I was just scared that people were going to start calling or dropping by if they thought the baby was born.

Rychen got home around 1:15. I was upstairs setting out shower curtains and chux pads. I was still very shaky and haphazardly gave him a tour of our upstairs, showing where I wanted to be, what things were for, etc. I was telling him about the text mix-up and he was being chatty telling me about work and I had to say "Ssh!!" and I went inward for a contraction.

I didn't know what I wanted, should I get in the bath? I said fill it up, but I don't want to get in yet. I wasn't in pain, and felt that I should just keep doing what I was doing--seemed to be working so far (standing, moving around, etc.) so I decided to dance a little. I had Josh Groban music playing.

I remember glancing at my index cards that I had prepared with affirmations and scriptures. I thought "I don't want to read anything!" I never touched them. And Rychen half-seriously said, "Should I update your facebook status to say you are in labor?" I said, I don't feel like doing anything! So at this point I was definitely in active labor.

Around 1:45 I got in the bath. We were still chatting a bit, I was upright in the tub. When a contraction came I would lay down in the water and breathe through it. I wanted to keep dancing to Josh Groban and had a sudden urge of intimacy. I said, "Do you feel like getting naked?" I wanted to stand up and slow dance naked in between contractions. But by the time he was undressed, I had moved on to another idea and didn't feel like doing that anymore.

So I was in the bath only about twenty or thirty minutes. I was kneeling up--I only needed my lower abdomen submerged. In fact, I felt very hot and weak, so we put cold washcloths on my upper body. I even turned on the faucet and splashed myself with freezing cold water. It felt awesome! This is one thing my instinct told me to do. I can't explain it. Anyway, I was kneeling up. Rychen was sitting or kneeling outside the tub and would tell me when my jaw was tight (a tight jaw is a tight vagina). We made out to loosen it up. I also got this incredibly strange sucking urge during contractions, and I sucked his arm! It seemed to work really well to get me through.

Also, my mind was racing with thoughts (as usual) and I kept vocalizing my insights. I was jabbering on about how much I loved him, how this is the pinnacle of God's creation, how I was realizing my womanhood, how special it was to be an eternal family, etc. At one point I heard my son laugh downstairs and I just said, "Our son is happy! We are a happy family!" (the cheesy things you say during labor...) Another funny thing is that as I was feeling so spiritual and grateful, I was filled with sadness for all those moms who give birth but never really realize this joy of fulfilling their real womanhood.

I was focusing on all these happy, spiritual things. I never shut up! It got me through and made it a really positive experience. I kept affirming how "This is God's design" and "This is so beautiful! This is so wonderful!" I was also talking a lot to my baby. I told my baby "You are doing so good! There is nothing to be afraid of. Come out to us! It's time for your earth life. It is so wonderful, God's plan for us, don't be afraid!"

But it was still intense. I couldn't talk during the contractions anymore, but I needed him to put pressure on my hips, so I tried motioning. He was busy between the contractions, going to get the clock, etc. (to which I said "I don't need to see that!") and I couldn't communicate when I needed him. Or, I'd tell him to do something and he'd start doing it, but I'd say "No! AFTER this contraction is over!" He later said, it was hard to tell when a contraction was starting and stopping, since I didn't tell him or give any indication. He could only tell when I would motion with hands instead of verbalizing (I wasn't making noise with the contractions, or maybe just at the peaks).

Rychen suggested I get out of the bath for a minute (I had asked him to remind me to do this). I got up and went into the other room, got on all fours, and sang along to Josh Groban. (This was around 2:15 I think?) Rychen mentioned something and I snapped at him, and then it hit me: "I'm in transition already?" It was a bit more intense out of the water, so after one contractions I went straight back! Then I told him "I am feeling that thing I felt with Rychen P.!" You know what -- the most uncomfortable urge ever... "I feel like I have a huge fart!" That feeling just drove me crazy! I felt myself and yelled out, "I can feel the head! I can feel the head!" That part is so amazing because all this time, I was wondering what was in my belly, and now I could actually touch it! But there was some sort of ridge under the head so I thought I should hold back. Also, I wondered why there was no hair. I couldn't quite make out what I was feeling. After another contraction, I felt again, and this time I could make it out. I said, "Oooh, that's the membranes!" That's why it was smooth instead of hairy. I could feel the membranes glide around and the hard head underneath. One more contraction (with pushing), and this time my perineum was huge and bulging! I was thinking, "Oh no, how is this huge head going to make it through!?" And at this point, I was certainly making noise with the pushing. This urge was so intense, and so uncomfortable! I didn't want to push it out but I couldn't hold it in. I was growling all over the place, thinking my mom can probably hear me. (Speaking of her, we still had never officially said I was in labor. Maybe she figured it out. - Later she said, she never heard anything. Just the music playing.) My water broke with the second-to-last push (and by the way, I never saw a mucous plug).

Oh also, my son had wanted to watch her come out. The deal was that we'd come get him when she was ready to come out, but I'd say "I'll try, but sometimes it just happens too fast." Well, when I began to push, I said "Go get Bub." As soon as Rychen turned around, I said, "No, wait." I didn't know how long I'd be pushing, and I didn't want to be growling in front of him. The next time I pushed, I did it again! "Go get him! No, Don't!"

The next thing I knew, the baby was out. There was no crowning moment, I didn't feel any stretching, and there was no pause between the head and body. She just popped out. I was shouting, "Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh!!!!!!" as I scooped her out of the water and immediately started rubbing her, facedown, as I had visualized. Rychen had to ask me to check the gender. I did, and then did a double take! I screamed out, "IT'S A GIRL!!!!! IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!" For sure thinking my mom could hear me. In that moment we had both forgotten about Rychen P., then I had to say, "Well, go get him!"

Big brother meets his new baby sister

The baby was purple but breathing. So I just focused on rubbing her, keeping her face down, and her head low. She was snorting a lot, so I had somebody grab the bulb to suction her (my mom and son were watching this). My mom asked about the gender so I turned her over to show Rychen P. "Is there a penis?" I asked him. (This was how we had talked about it, and how he'd be able to tell if it was a boy or girl.) He said, "No, there is no penis!" Somebody was taking a picture of me (everything was happening at once) and I smiled at the camera and yelled, "We have an absence of penis!"

"Absense of penis! Yay!!!"

Anyway, I was still rubbing her as she kept snorting. I felt fine about it, but I told my mom, "Can you call the midwife and just tell her what is happening?" So she made a quick phone call and said, that is fine. The cord was short and I could feel it stretching between me and her. Also I remembered I was going to take motherwort to prevent hemorhage, so I told Rychen to give it to me. I was also drinking water with cinnamon tincture in it. I was very focused on my baby and wasn't worrying too much about blood loss, but I did just want to get the placenta out so that I could relax about the whole thing. Plus, the bath water was getting pretty red, and you just can't judge how much blood is in it. So we were just doing everything we could do, have the baby at the breast, Rychen was squeezing my uterus, and I took Angelica. We kept doing this for ten minutes or so. It wasn't frantic or anything (I felt great, no lightheadedness or anything) but I just really wanted it out. I got up and felt some minor pushing urges, but a part of me didn't want to push again! Rychen P. said "There's the placenta!" which confused me, but I realized the membranes were hanging out of me! I tried to push, coughed, took Angelica again, and also started talking to my placenta, saying "Thank you for all you have done. Your job is complete. I release you." And I got up to sit on the edge of the tub (instinct?) then it fell out.

Sitting on the edge of the tub, nursing, with placenta is bowl on my lap.

Immediately, I picked it up (still holding the baby this whole time) and put it in my lap! It was slippery. So I asked for the bowl. I held the bowl in my lap and asked Rychen to cut me a peice. (I had planned on chewing some) It tasted fine, and slid down my throat! I wanted more. He cut me a few more peices and I kept eating it up. Watching this all, Rychen P. was enthralled. I asked him, "Do you want some?" ha ha! He said no.

Then I realized I could get out of the bath now. So I got up and walked to the bed. We sat there and nursed. She was really intent on it, and was already getting frustrated when she didn't latch right. I was sitting in an awkward position with my shoulders hunched over, and began to feel very sore. We kept nursing and re-latching. I was very focused on her and hadn't realized the awkward position I was in, but I finally asked for some pillows to lay back. We kept nursing like this for probably 4 hours, while making phone calls, etc. People wanted to know the weight but I didn't want to disturb my sweet girl to do that. Also, the placenta was sitting in a bowl next to me this whole time. Finally we said, "Oh yeah, let's cut that." So Rychen P. got to cut the cord -- very carefully, with Dad's guidance.

Nursing in bed with big brother, and my post-partum grapes!

At some point in there we decided on the name Elisabeth for sure. I hadn't mentioned the middle name, I was waiting to tell my mom. So when it was just me and her, I told her I had something to tell her, but I would cry. I teared up as I said, "Her middle name is Diane. Because you are my hero." She teared up too and said I was her hero. It was a very touching moment :)

In the evening I got up and put my clothes back on, and sat in a comfortable chair while Rychen changed the bed sheets. She was done nursing now so we decided to weigh her. In the previous hours she had already pooped twice (with no warning, I didn't know until I put my hand in it!) so the weight was off a little. The weight was 7 lb. 2 oz. and we decided to call it 7 lb. 4 oz (I think that was my birth weight so it sounded good). Also around this time I started feeling starved (weak, nauseas) so I ate a couple avocados and lots of raisins.

Then we were ready for visitors so Rychen's parents came over for a visit. I had a headache and said I was going right to bed when they left (7 pm). It took an hour to get Rychen P. to sleep--he wanted to cuddle but Elisabeth was nursing again. Rychen had been so doting and accomodating up til now, and here we were trying to tell a tired boy that Mom had a higher priority...oh boy. Well we invited him to sleep in our bed for the night. Elisabeth went to sleep so I rolled the other way and cuddled Rychen until he fell asleep. Then I lay in bed suddenly wide awake! I just lay there in ecstasy, between my two babies. It was so sweet. I didn't sleep until 4 am! A combination of hormones, active excited mind, and getting up for a midnight meal of placenta and avocado! I had sleeping Elisabeth in a carrier as I ate my food and then sat on the front porch. The midnight air was so peaceful. I took some time to reflect on what happened that day. It was another precious moment with my new daugther.

The next day I was up, we visited a lot, blogged, etc. and had a birthday party for Elisabeth and her Grandma Jones, whose birthday was that next day. Also, my midwife friend visited us and did a newborn exam. She said Elisabeth has the signs of a 41-week gestation (longer finger nails, detailed hands and feet, and little vernix) so maybe we conceived earlier than we thought. Also this friend is filing our birth certificate as if she attended our birth. Hooray! (That can be a pain in the neck for UC births) Anyway, I didn't notice until that afternoon that I had a tear (for some reason I didn't feel it until then). So now (Saturday) I am taking it easy to let it heal. Breastfeeding is going great, except it's hard to do in the dark. She needs me to get her latched on. I don't have much of an appetite so have been grazing on fruit mostly. The afterpains were uncomfortable while nursing or laying on my side, but are fine now.

She measures 7 lb. 4 oz., 19.5 inches, and 13 inch head circumference.

The day after the birth I was only down 10 lbs. So a pregnancy really only requires that much? I have 15 lbs. to lose. Hopefully it will come off easily in the next couple weeks. I really do hope so, because I don't have any clothes that fit right now. Just sweats, and my largest tee shirts are a bit tight. I guess I need a size medium but I don't own any. I have just been wearing tank tops and this nursing shirt I made up. I don't even fit into my jeans that I wore through half my pregnancy! Maybe my hips spread or something.

So, we had an unassisted birth with no midwife, and it was wonderful. I never had a prenatal visit, only casually (I did get palpated every time I was visiting with one of my midwife friends, and asked them lots of questions via e-mail throughout the pregnancy). We did have midwives on call but the birth was so quick I never even thought about it. I never thought "Hey we are doing this ourselves." I was in such instinctual mode that I was just thinking about the present moment and birthing my baby the way women throughout history have done it on their own. We were really blessed to have conditions line up for us, the fact that it was daytime, that Rychen P. was able to stay home and not bother us, and that it was quick enough that I never had a chance to fear or doubt! I just thought positive thoughts and went with it. We had all sorts of medical equipment handy but didn't need anything, and I didn't use any of the remedies or acupressure I had prepared.

So the birth was less than an hour of hard labor, and a couple hours prior to that, I called Rychen at 12:45, he was home at 1:15, and the birth was at 2:27. I was excited and positive the whole time, even though all the cramping was driving me crazy! Unassisted birthing is awesome because my inhibitions were so low, I could do anything I wanted (even having a midwife would have given me some inhibitions) like singing, talking, making out (and then some), talking about silly or spiritual things, etc……Birth is really awesome when you approach it like a sexual event. Because that's exactly what it is! I felt so close to Rychen and so Divine as I reached the pinnacle of womanhood. Some women birth alone but I am so glad Rychen was with me because the whole conception, pregnancy, birth, etc…. is a divine process between a man and a woman, and nobody else. During the labor I really felt strongly about that. It really increased my testimony. Even though I was going through such physical work, it was a wonderful, exciting, spiritual experience. I am so thankful it worked for us, that our prayers were answered, that we didn't need any medical attention, etc. I got exactly the birth I had been praying for and preparing myself for. The work pays off!!

On bravery

"You had a homebirth? You are so brave!"

 

I respectfully disagree.

 

Have you heard that saying "Courage is not the absence of fear, it is going onward despite it." Bravery implies that you are or were afraid. I am not afriad of birth. I wouldn't have birthed at home if I was scared to do it. (Why would anybody do that? I wouldn't call them brave, I would call them morons) The whole point of a homebirth is that you are where you feel safe! 

 

It's not like a took a dare. "I dare you to do something stupid!" I think that's what those comments imply. A lot of homebirthers are offended. When I received this comment at church last week, I wasn't offended though. I could tell she was honestly impressed. She was saying "Wow, you trust birth!" in a way that suggested she wishes she could too.

 

I take no offense because I realize it's a cultural thing. Homebirth is second nature to me. It's the tradition of my family, to some extent. But if you come from a family of difficult births or C-sections, or where the pain has been emphasized and dramaticized, then definitely it's going to require some courage to try a new route. No wonder these people don't try it - like I said, it's probably stupid to birth in a state of fear! I can totally understand where they are coming from. But I hope they understand me also. To me, birth is not scary. It's not painful. It's not a horrible, death-defying task!! It is a beautiful, wonderful, amazing, and yet everyday, simple thing to do, that requires no special skill or talent. The only training or prep work needed to birth naturally is a result of our culture. Essentially, we need to un-do all the wrong that has been done to slander birth.  

Lessons... article

Lessons from a Homebirth Practice
by John Stevenson

(c) 2003 Midwifery Today, Inc. All rights reserved.

[Editor's note: This article first appeared in The Birthkit Issue 39,
Autumn 2003.]

I was a doctor in general practice for almost 20 years. Then, quite
accidentally, I became involved in homebirths when a patient suffering
agoraphobia wanted to birth her baby at home. Bookings escalated so
that within a year, I had to abandon general practice.

In my homebirth practice, I got to know each expectant mother well
during routine prenatal checks, and I got to know her unborn baby as
well as possible through heart rate, movements and size. The only
routine test I ordered was blood group and Rh type. Other tests like
ultrasound scans, X-ray or extensive blood investigations were only
done if I had good reason to suspect something amiss. In the last
month of a woman's pregnancy, I did the checks at her home to make
sure I could find my way there when the call came and also because the
mother usually didn't like travelling at the end of pregnancy.

When labour begins the mother is in charge, as she should be. All her
attendants are there to help her and look after her as best we can.
Her every wish is our command. When baby is born, we are all quiet
while the parents welcome their child, and there is a flood of love
that fills the birth room.

The first thing I noticed about homebirth was the serene joy of the
parents, which in those days was something I never saw in my hospital
experience. The second thing I saw was that an intense bond
automatically takes place between mother and baby in the first
half-hour, not in the first few weeks as obstetricians maintain. This
bonding is vitally important. In my opinion, it is equally as
important as safety because it affects baby's longterm welfare and
mother's psychological health.

Bonding also involves the father and siblings present at the birth,
but the maternal bond has a much higher order of intensity. It is
automatic; you don't need to help it, but you do need to protect
mother from embarrassment, humiliation or separation from baby. She
needs to hold baby and check her/him as soon as possible (but after
the few moments it takes to recover from the stress of giving birth).
To aid this bonding, I even learned to resuscitate a shocked baby
without cutting the cord.

In addition to these lessons, I learned in the first three years of
homebirth practice that amazing safety mechanisms are built into both
mother and baby. In the vast majority, these will ensure that baby
will arrive safely without intrusive help. The first mechanism I will
describe is the immense oxygen reserves of a term baby. The
oxygen-carrying capacity is 40 percent or more greater than ours, due
to denser haemoglobin concentration. In practice, the reserve is even
greater than this because baby is not as active as adults or children
outside of the womb. Oxygen supply from the placenta continues until
the head passes mid-pelvis; sometime after that it is reduced due to
shrinkage of the uterus involving the placental bed. Most babies are
still pink at birth. Lack of oxygen turns the pinkness to purple, then
to blue. But all these babies still have some oxygen reserve and are
likely to breathe without help. When the oxygen reserve runs
dangerously low, this is called shock. The skin circulation closes
down, so that baby becomes a deathly pale grey and is unconscious so
there is no muscular movement, and the heart rate is down to about 80.
These three observations can be made in 15 seconds, and it is urgent
to get oxygen into baby's lungs. I use my own breath rather than pure
oxygen; baby's lungs are designed to utilise 20 percent oxygen, so my
dead-space tracheal air is exactly right. (I have not yet given any
baby an infection nor burst any lungs!) Inflate baby's lungs once,
then listen to the heart rate, which should immediately rise to more
than 100. At this stage you can reassure the parents that baby is all
right. If the heart slows again before baby takes a breath, inflate
the lungs a second time. If the heart slows a third time, another
inflation can be performed. In my experience, I have never had to do
it more than three times—and usually only once or twice. Once baby
takes a breath, it needs no more help. With each breath, its strength
will increase. But patience and confidence are necessary; it may be
five minutes before baby is fully pink, 10 minutes before muscle tone
returns and 15 minutes before baby cries. Reassure parents and give
baby to mother as soon as baby starts breathing, while staying close
and monitoring. Shock is rare if you don't use drugs. You might never
see a case. (I have never used Apgar scores. I prefer to describe
baby's condition in terms of colour, movement and heart rate).

The next safety mechanism is baby's ability to withstand shock
(extreme oxygen lack). If you or I turned blue, brain damage would set
in within minutes. Baby has a brain that can withstand an amazing
degree of shock. If the heart rate is down to 70 or 80, you can expect
full recovery if you act promptly, but if it is down to 30 or 40, you
may be in trouble. Remain calm and confident and do your best; you
will be surprised at baby's rallying and recuperative ability.

I was taught that if the cord is around baby's neck, it should be
pulled loose and passed over baby's head. If it is too tight to pull
loose, then it should be double clamped and cut between the clamps in
order to prevent the cord breaking or the placenta being pulled off
the uterine wall.

I did this at first but then began to wonder if it was really
necessary. I now feel sure it is not. I have not done this for 25
years now, and I have never had a broken cord nor has the placenta
ever been pulled off the uterine wall by a tight cord. I have had only
one case (out of 1,400) where the tight cord held baby's head close to
the perineum so that baby doubled up to birth the hips and legs. But
there was no problem, and the cord stopped pulsing in its own good time.

Several unusual births convinced me that baby has considerable control
over labour. It seems that baby can release some type of chemical,
like a hormone, through the placenta into mother's circulation to
counteract the oxytocin and restrain labour. In one case, a baby had a
very tangled cord (discovered after birth) and it stopped second stage
completely for half an hour, presumably to give it a chance to wriggle
and loosen the cord. I think it is baby's influence that reduces
contractions coming every two minutes in late first stage to
contractions that come every five minutes in second stage, presumably
to modify the stress of moulding. Another clue is that stillbirth
labour is usually intense and rapid. I feel so sure of baby's
influence on labour that I assert it is quite wrong to take over and
hurry it because baby might have good cause to restrain it. As someone
recently said, if you induce a mother, her body is not ready to give
birth. Sometimes a long first stage labour comes to a stop and mother
feels sleepy. In this situation, it is essential to let her sleep and,
if she wants to, take refreshment.

Early in my homebirth experience I learned that as labour progresses,
mother's pelvic and perineal tissues become soft and elastic to an
extraordinary degree. The reason is so obvious: How else could a woman
give birth to a baby through such a narrow channel without tearing? It
is a fact that some mothers do tear, but if we are patient and careful
enough, the tears are few and trivial. Stitches are often unnecessary.
I have often wondered, but do not know, whether the softening agent
affects the whole body or just the pelvic tissues. Although the
standard teaching is that a large episiotomy is essential for breeches
or forceps, I don't agree, and simply never do episiotomies. With
care, breeches and forceps births can be managed without a tear.
Incidentally, I firmly believe that midwives should be allowed to use
forceps because I feel sure that they would be more careful and gentle
than male doctors usually are, and it would save a lot of hospital
transfers.

Occasionally there is obstruction because baby's head doesn't enter
the pelvis; maybe it is deflexed or in the occiput transverse
position. One trick is to ask mum to walk with exaggerated hip
movements. If there is a stairway in the house, she could do this up
and down the stairs, with an attendant steadying her. Another trick is
to have her lie supine, while you feel for a shoulder, then dig the
fingers of both hands into the suprapubic area and lift baby away from
the pelvis. Baby often takes the hint and repositions its head. This
lifting manoeuvre has to be done firmly and efficiently because mum
will be tired and tender at this stage of labour. Alternatively, you
could get mum to kneel down with her shoulders and head on the floor
so that her back is sloping down from the pelvis. Facing her feet and
with one arm across her back, you can do the lifting manoeuvre more
gently, aided by gravity. These tricks work so often that it is crazy
not to try them, and, again, it often saves a hospital transfer. On
two occasions I have seen the head descend to perineum with the next
contraction after the lifting manoeuvre.

When I started attending homebirths, I checked foetal heart rate
hourly in first stage and quarter-hourly in second stage. Now I might
check it on arrival, then not again unless mother asks me to. I do not
do vaginal examinations either, unless asked to, but I do understand
that an apprentice midwife needs to learn from them. If blood pressure
has been within normal limits during pregnancy, I do not measure it
during labour. On rare occasions, I arrive at a house, park my gear in
the corner, greet the family and check baby and find that contractions
have stopped. I say to the mother, "I will go and sit in the kitchen
until you call me." It is handy to have a book with you for such
eventualities.

I never use suction on baby. When I started homebirths, I purchased a
suction tube with a mucus trap; it is still in my bag in its original
sealed wrapper, unopened. If baby is rattley or breathing is laboured,
I put it into drainage posture: with one hand under the body and the
other under the forehead, I slope baby's body about 45 degrees with
bottom up high and extend the head slightly so that the mouth faces
the floor. Aided by gravity, baby is quite good at expelling mucus and
clearing the bronchial tubes. This drainage posture might have to be
repeated sometimes, until breathing is quiet and easy. I think that
suction is an unwarranted, intrusive assault on the defenceless baby,
and I know that many mothers see it this way. I have witnessed it done
in hospital, and the suction empties baby's stomach, which may be good
for the obstetrician's peace of mind but is no help to baby.

Just after the birth, mother is very busy (though she mightn't look
it) adoring and checking baby. For this reason, it is best to wait
several minutes before asking her to tell us if she gets more
contractions or a pushing urge. Meanwhile, we unobtrusively watch for
bleeding.

Clamping and cutting the cord at once deprives baby of up to a cupful
of its own blood, which is very wrong. When contractions begin, mother
is usually reclining, so it is propitious to help with gentle cord
traction, but only during a contraction. If the placenta is slow to
descend, gentle wobbling traction might help. But sometimes mother
might prefer to get up and squat over a dish. Normally there is no
hurry to birth the placenta. It is usually delivered between 10 and 30
minutes after the birth. If it gets near the hour, it is best to get
mother to squat, and with help, use uterine massage and gentle
wobbling cord traction to deliver the placenta. If you wait longer
than an hour it seems to become more difficult, due to regression of
the cervix. The exception to waiting is, of course, excessive
bleeding. An ounce or two should draw no comment, but if more is lost,
I scoop it up and place it in a quart glass jug. When it gets to a
pint—and only then—I advise the mother that she is losing too much
blood and we should get the placenta out. A pint loss is not serious,
but I take action then because it might become considerably more if
delivery of the placenta is difficult, as occasionally it is in such
cases. Usually bleeding stops when the placenta is delivered;
sometimes there is persistent bleeding from the lower segment, needing
massage of the uterus, and possibly elevation of the feet. An
injection can usually be avoided and should never be given before the
placenta is out. If the cord breaks with haemorrhaging, then manual
removal is necessary. It is easier than you might expect, but care is
needed to separate the placenta in one piece; bits left behind could
cause big trouble later. It is uncomfortable for mother, so talk to
her reassuringly while your hand is inside. A rare complication is
concealed bleeding; with a fundal placenta which separates, a quart of
blood can accumulate behind the membranes, and is an awful shock to
the attendant when it starts gushing out. So it is worth checking at
10 or 15 minutes that the uterus is not expanding and softening.
Palpation should never be painful; the attendant should be very aware
of the mother's sensitivity.

The last birth I attended, less than a month ago as I write, was a
primip aged 28 who had a perfectly normal pregnancy but came into
labour two weeks early. (I will deliver a baby at home up to eight
weeks early, but that baby would need hospital transfer after the
mother had the first hour with it. By six weeks early, there is a
possibility of staying home). Her contractions began on awakening at
6:30 and were mild all morning. In the afternoon they became stronger,
and at 4:30 there was a bloody show and SROM. Pushing began at 7:30; I
arrived at 7:50 (after a 100-mile drive). The head came into view
about 9:00 p.m. It was well in view by 10:00 and looked very dark; I
presumed it had black hair. But as it neared the perineum, I could
part the hair and realized that the scalp was a deep blue-black. I
became worried but said nothing (the mother later told me she knew). I
used my Doptone to listen to the heart just above the pubis, for only
a few seconds, as mother was stressed. It was strong and
regular—slower than 140 but I judged still above 100—and the
well-spaced contractions assured me that baby was in control. Sure
enough, when it was born at 10:37 it was pink, except for the scalp,
which was blue and deep, dark blue over the large caput, obviously due
to the tourniquet effect of the vagina and pelvic tissues over the
three-hour-plus second stage (which would never have been allowed in
hospital). My only contribution to this woman's birthing was to twice
ask her to tell us if she needed help to change position (which she
didn't), to briefly check the heart about 20 minutes before the birth,
and to twice use the drainage posture on baby to improve his
breathing. I had the honour of delivering the 7 lb 13 oz (3 1/3 kg)
baby because the father backed out at the last minute. I felt this
birth was a very special and beautiful experience for me.

There is one possible catch about my teaching. Fortunately for me,
almost all my clients were very strong-minded, warm-hearted, highly
motivated people into healthy living; they often cross-examined me at
the first interview, and financial considerations had nothing to do
with their choice. This is because in Australia, people who cannot
afford an obstetrician are able to use public hospital facilities at
very low or no cost. Highly motivated and healthy people are easy to
look after, whereas people who want homebirth because they can't
afford hospital might have diet, general health or other problems
needing investigation.

My homebirth experience was a steep learning curve. Among the many
lessons, I learned that women need respect and helpful support from
their medical adviser during labour and that such respect and support
is actually a safety factor.

http://www.midwiferytoday.com/graphics/dot.gifJohn Stevenson worked in
various manual jobs until one day he heard a medical student
describing his study course. He decided right then to become a doctor.
After eight years in his homebirth practice, the College of
Obstetricians contrived his de-registration, without ever speaking to
him about safety or statistics. Subsequently, Dr. John has continued
to attend births but has to make it clear to clients that he is not a
registered doctor.

Some more pictures

Here is that nursing top/cami combo. Yes, she is nursing and who can tell!?
This was my post-partum belly the day after. Today (the third day) it is reduced quite a bit. I will have to try on clothes...

And finally, an open-eyes picture! I just snapped this with the webcam while she was nursing since she was so wide-eyed (and now, 60 seconds later, she is asleep again!)

Hooray, my milk is in! Seeing it squirt just fills me with excitement. I love having this again! Nursing babies is the best thing ever.

Take a peek

Here I am nursing comfortably as I type! (Yes, right now, thanks to webcams!) Elisabeth has been naked since it's so warm, and I'm glad! I love baby skin! So I am holding her over a pre-fold, our first step toward learning EC. Also by the way this top I am wearing is the nursing top I created, which I blogged about earlier. I just trimmed and hemmed it above the breast so that I could be covered and not have to pull up clothing. To cover the rest, just wear a camisole underneath. Then you are fully covered but it's easy to pull down the cami neckline (no bra) to nurse, without exposing anything.

Suggestions for UC Preparation

To my readers who are considering birthing unassisted:

 

You can do it! Here are some suggestions, solely based on my experience. Here is what helped me.

 

Websites to read:

Christian UC

Sarah Buckley, especially this article

Birthlife (this is a great article for skeptical relatives to read)

Laura Shanley's site (author of Unassisted Childbirth)

PureBirth

Midwife Archives

Empowered Childbirth

 

Forums and Groups:

Mothering

UC Yahoo Group (my favorite--there are several)

 

Blogs:

Sagefemme (not an active blog, but this contains much wonderful information that inspired and enabled me)

Stand and Deliver (lots of resources and personal experience)

 

Books:

My favorites were Unassisted Homebirth: An Act of Love and The Power of Pleasurable Childbirth. Also a great book to prepare psychologically is Creating a Joyful Birth Experience. Of course, also read all the classic natural birth literature like Childbirth Without Fear, anything by Sheila Kitzinger, Carl Jones, the Hypnobirthing book, Calm Birth, and Birthing From Within.

 

Watch:

-UC videos on You tube

-Unassisted Birth of Psalm and Zoya (?) My favorite birth movie, available online, anybody know where?

-Clear Road to Birth

 

Personally, I think watching UC birth videos is invaluable as a way to recreate your subconscious beliefs about birth. You will birth accordingly to your beliefs. If you believe it is a medical event, you will not make it. If you believe it hurts, it will. If you believe it is long, arduous work, it will be. I used to believe these things but through watching lots of videos, I was able to gain new insights and reprogram my subconscious to see that birth is a simple, physiological process (a positive one!) and besides that, it can be anything your mind creates it to be.

 

Prenatal Care:

I suggest you do what you are comfortable with. Anything a doctor does, you can do yourself or you can obtain independently. But before doing labwork or medical assessments, I suggest educating yourself on the psychological impact of prenatal assessments. They are not proven to be accurate or reliable, and often induce more worry than necessary. Unfortunately, worry affects our beliefs and creates outcomes. I may be mocked for this, but personally I feel naivete is the best way to go. I relied on the Holy Spirit alone to give me any direction I needed (if there was cause for concern, etc.), and of course my own instinct. Many moms rely on dreams. As far as prenatal care, I casually measured my fundus but did no other routine information gathering. And of course I took excellent care of myself. Moms who birth unassisted usually have better health and outcomes because they tend to be responsible women.

Psychologically, I think birth is wonderful when you follow nature - it affects your hopes and emotions, and makes everything so amazing. For example, nature didn't intend for us to know the gender of our baby, and it's so exciting to find out at the time of birth! Nature didn't intend for us to have a visual picture of our babies either. I think emotionally, it was amazing not to have an ultrasound either. I found myself wondering what was inside me, and when she was born, I was thrilled and amazed to see a little human! I think this contributes to third stage hormones, bonding, and recovery.

 

But most importantly to prepare...

 

No, I am not going to suggest nutrition. I would say the most important thing during pregnancy is to prepare yourself as much mentally and spiritually as possible. You may have to adjust your personality! Get into a happy, faithful place in your life where you follow the spirit, where you avoid discouraging and evil influences, where your faith is strong, etc. Keep praying to make the right choice and be wise. I kept praying for that, and even in labor prayed that we'd be directed if we needed a midwife. That is why I feel my decision wasn't foolish - I trust the Lord. He did not tell me that we needed medical assistance, and we didn't. Everything worked out so perfectly! (and my faith was not 100% perfect, I had doubts arise during pregnancy but I always addressed them and worked through them until I felt confident again) You want to get into a peaceful, balanced state of mind. If you feel emotional, stop what you are doing and go cry. Think through it. Write your feelings out. Do this until the emotion/doubt is resolved and you feel strong again.
Surround yourself with encouragement. Don't tell your birth plans to anybody who will dissuade you or send worries or negative energy your way. I didn't want anyone to know I was in labor because I think they naturally start worrying and that power gets sent out into the universe (See the film The Secret).
 
I know you can do it! It certainly takes effort though. But the rewards are incredible! You will grow so much as a person, so much closer to God and to your husband as well. Birth is not about getting a baby out. It's a wonderful opportune time to rebirth yourself into a new, confident, even Holy person. And your baby will be so blessed by it also! A loving pregnancy without worry, a gentle birth without intervention or the presence of strangers--these things are so valuable to a new child! They will have the best start in life. More so than any nutrition program, I firmly believe. Birth the right way! And realize the pinnacle of True Womanhood!

World's finest delicacy

I have a confession to make. I broke the bonds of veganhood. In fact, some might call me a cannibal. (I ate myself, ha ha!) I admit, I have engaged in the rite of placentaphagia AND ENJOYED IT!!!!

I was planning to do this, since I had absolute faith that it would ensure against hemorrhaging. And I just felt it was a natural way to balance hormones and recover after birth. So as soon as the placenta was born, I had my husband grab the poultry shears and slice me off a bite. I had heard somebody say they just chewed it, or held it under their tongue, instead of swallowing; but I was surprised at how easily it slid down my throat--and, Mmmm!! My body really liked it. (Or was I just hungry?) So I asked for more, and then MORE!!!

So there I was, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, holding my 15-minute baby, chowing down on my own organ. Then later on after everybody else was asleep, I was starving! So I slipped my sleeping babe in a wrap, went downstairs, and made a delicious post-partum meal of placenta, avocados, and tomatos. Yum, I felt so nourished.

I see it as a bit of a life cycle. My body built and nourished this organ. It nourished my baby. And then I myself was nourished by it. Finally, these nutrients will enter my breastmilk and once again give life to my child.

Now if I can break this reverence, I must tell you some things straight-up. Placenta is very difficult to cut! We used scissors, and had to cut, cut, cut--basically chew through it several times in order to cut through! And it is sure slippery. If you are going to hold a placenta on your lap, on the edge of your bathtub, I recommend having it in a bowl! Oh, and if you want to do something cute like plant it under a tree--considering how delicious it is, I would recommend gestating twins!

New Life!

New life surrounds us. Not only the newness of Elisabeth, but of Rychen Parker who is now a brother, my husband who is now going to be girlied out, and I am reborn as a mother of 2. In addition, I feel a sense of awe as I have surmounted the pinnacle of creation; I am now a Real Woman.

When I birthed my son, my mom wrote in a card: "Congratulations on doing it the real woman way." Yes, I knew what drug-free birth felt like. But I was not a real woman yet. When you birth alone with your husband, you become REAL. You are one with God. For once, you are really ALIVE. There is absolutely nothing interfering (so long as you don't let your fears do so). Truly, you are one with Nature as you realize the meaning of being a Woman.

I'll soon have a detailed birth story up but suffice to say, we were so blessed with just what I wanted--I had asked God for a Straightforward birth, Efficient contractions, Faith, and to be able to bond with my baby (vs. having third stage complications like last time). And that is exactly what we got. Everything I wanted, except I had envisioned a bit more leisure time actually! I can't conceive of better words than "straightforward" and "efficient" to describe this birth. There was certainly no time wasted. A quick birth was a blessing because I had absolutely no opportunity to worry (or consider calling a midwife). I had zero fear. And I got my "Gold medal"!! I was positive the whole time, praising God, vocalizing my feelings, and even feeling the sexuality of it all. It was sure intense but not once did I cry out, whine, or say I wanted out. Instead, I chose to embrace it all, to be One with it, and to push onward.

I will also soon post a comparison of my last labor to this one. They were dramatically different but it's difficult to pinpoint why. The most obvious cause is my diet, but there were other factors. Like a whole different approach to, and belief system regarding, birth itself. No fear. The autonomy and power that comes through unassisted pregnancy and then birthing with only the one other person who created this beauty. Both of my labors have manifested themselves as exactly what I expected and believed in; because of this, I am lead to believe that it is this mental aspect that has the most influence over birth outcomes.

Of course, raw food helps :) I am nearly fully recovered, only 24 hours later (and I only slept 2 hours last night!) To be honest, I was planning to give in to all the cravings I have been unable to eat, once the baby was born. But after having such success and feeling so marvelous, how could I possibly turn my back on this!? I'm going to keep eating high-raw, low-fat, as much as I am able to keep up with the fruit buying (budget-wise and practicality speaking).

Our family blog has some photos from today (right now they won't upload here). http://rychenannalise.blogspot.com

Mission Accomplished

Hello there, this is Annalise's husband, making my first appearance in this blog. At Annalise's request, I want to give a quick update and say that she gave birth to a baby girl this afternoon. Her name is Elisabeth Diane and she weighed 7lbs 4 oz. I'm sure she'll give you all the details, but labor started about 12:30pm, called me about 12:45pm at work, I got home about 1:15 and at 2:25 she gave birth. No crowning or anything, just the baby popping out all of the sudden. Everyone is resting well now and I'm headed off to join them.

40 weeks!

So I am officially "due"......except, unlike a library book, "Due" doesn't mean this is the last possible day. It pretty much means it's the first probable day! My mom is in town now, sleeping on our living room floor downstairs. I had wanted to labor last weekend because of some favorable circumstances, and messed around with acupressure as well as an honest attempt to induce with homeopathics, but to no avail. Oh well, that is why I used the non-invasive ways--don't want to force anything I'm not ready for. As it turns out, it could be a great thing to have my mom here. I can already tell the tone of our home has lightened up more, mainly because she has my son laughing constantly, so I don't have the stress of parenting on me now. I am confident that he could stay home during labor and be happy.

 

No real contractions yet, just stronger and stronger braxton hicks. I am still doing real well, have energy most days to dance around, play, run errands, etc. but I get uncomfortable easily so I need to either lay down or keep moving. Today I walked 3 miles, felt great! I am glad our heat wave is over, temps are back low again and it's even rainy. Mmmm, I LOVE the smell of wet night air! I think I will take a midnight stroll when I am up laboring.

 

Well I just noticed my breasts are quite tender suddenly, like they were when I was nursing. So I guess they are getting ready now! No other labor signs yet.

 

(Funny story, one night last week I had an attack of diarrhea and suspected labor, got things ready, but contractions didn't start. Turned out it was nothing. I couldn't figure out what it was due to (my diet was usual) except that I had had a professional massage that day, and maybe the rhythmic pressure on my back set my bowels in motion!!)

Breastfeeding fine art

I love artwork of Mary nursing Jesus. You don't see those very often. I first saw one at an art exhibit at BYU a couple years ago and was surprised and impressed. I had never thought about it before, but you always hear "She brought him forth and lay him in a manger" as if she never hugged him or anything!! There must be some scripture lost in translation (several verses skipped) because I know the correct version would be something like "She brought him forth, massaged the vernix into his skin, spoke to him, and latched him onto her breast, all while whispering sweet nothings into his hear. Then she wore him in a wrap for several months and at some point down the road lay him in a manger." Ha ha :)

This particular picture actually looks like Jesus is about 2 years old. That is awesome! Not to mentinon, the King of the World was born by UC :)

Here are more

Saying farewell to a beautiful pregnancy

I am 39 weeks, 4 days pregnant. Do you know what that means? It means I am almost done. But unlike a lot of moms, my attitude isn't "I am sick of this! Get this baby out of me!" In fact I have enjoyed pregnancy quite a bit, aside from some fatigue and emotional outbursts :-)

I had been preparing for this pregnancy ever since my last one! My first pregnancy was not so much fun, and I wanted the second time around to be better. My diet and exercise habits are much improved, as well as my overall attitude towards it. I was blessed this time to only have minor morning sickness, occasional heartburn, mild backache only if I exerted myself, zero stretch marks, and zero swelling! All of those were HUGE problems last time. The water retention was the worst, which I suffered through for an entire month, with numb feet! Oh and did I mention I barely gained 25 lbs this time, as opposed to 50 last time?

I attribute this mostly to my diet. My body is a much cleaner vessel this go-round. That means my cells are functioning properly. There is a good pH balance in my tissues, which are more elastic and supple. Celllular messages are relayed so much easier, and the energy transfer in my body is unobstructed.

If ONLY I knew these things last time. If only somebody could have clued me in (oh yeah like that person I paid $2 grand?).... for starters, salt causes water retention. This is no secret. It doesn't matter if you are pregnant or not, try cutting out salt and you'll be 5 lbs lighter, I guarantee it (that's how much water is in you, protecting your cells from the sting from that toxic substance). And that eating fiberless foods (all animal products, all refined grains) CLOGS your colon, so you can't absorb nutrients from your foods, which only adds to your abdomen volume (My belly is nowhere as big as it was last time - hello people, there is more than baby in there! But this time around my intestines are clear!) and adds WEIGHT - not body weight, just clogged up food weight!

And what if I had known that "hunger" is only a withdrawal symptom? And there is really zero need to "eat for two" during pregnancy. That I could easily control cravings and nausea with a clean diet - then my blood sugar would be balanced without the onslaught of toxins from my food.

I write this post not to brag but to say it's not necessary to feel huge, tired, achy, and sick in order to bring forth a gift from God. It's not really part of pregnancy! Just side-effects that some experience due to the cleansing their body is doing, in order not to intoxicate your fetus! (So, if it does happen to you, what a wonderful thing!) If you've had bad pregnancies in the past, consider your real potential and what you could do after some cleansing! Get the cleansing done before pregnancy and then the baby-carrying months will be so much gentler!

P.S. I have similar opinions on birth but that is a post I can't write until after I see for myself! Any day now!

Will I be a gold medalist?

I got emotional watching our U.S. girls win the gymnastics all-around. I think the emotions come to us all because we realize how hard these girls have worked, how this is their one big chance, and how this is the apex of all their preparation and determination. But for somebody preparing to do something so similar, it only means that much more. Giving birth isn't exactly like gymnastics - although both require great physical fitness and mental focus, one is a learned skill while the other is a simple, normal physiological event - however, there are many similarities to be drawn.

 

The challenge in succeeding in gymnastics as well as birth is choosing the highest level of difficulty, provided you're confident you can execute it. For some, a homebirth is just out of the question, and they're commended for a great execution score on their hospital birth. For me, I am shooting for an unassisted birth (no paid attendants) and there would certainly be big bonus points if I do it in solitude, although this isn't my aim. I am 95% sure I can execute this. (So sorry to talk about birth in such an irreverent way--of course, my goal is NOT to win points or bring glory to myself!)

 

Another similarity is that there are things you can control, and things you can't. In gymnastics your placing is based not only on your own performance, but that in relation to the performance of others. You can do all your events perfectly, but if somebody else had a higher start value and did just as well, then they will bump you out of your medal. Fortunately for mothers, nobody else is going to bump us out. But still there are things beyond our control.

 

So I am putting my "goal" in that which I can control. I will not feel bad if I have less than perfect physiological function. But my Olympic event is my MENTAL performance. No matter what happens as I birth, will I stay positive? Will I endure? Will I go on? (It's kind of hard not to) Will I only seek professional help if I know I need it, and not because I ran out of guts? Will I respond to the physical sensations in a pleasurable, exciting way, or will I whine like I did last time? Will I continue to tell myself "I can do it" instead of sending myself negative, discouraging messages? And before the birth, will I continue to take care of myself and my spirit optimally so that I am in the right place when I go into labor? After all is said and done, will I stand proud and say "I accomplished my goal!" ?

Calories in, calories out?

Dr. Mercola has an article today about the necessity of exercise for weight loss. According to this study, you need to exercise an hour a day, 5 days a week, in order to lose weight and keep it off - because studying obese dieters, only the ones doing this were successful in keeping their weight off (they all lost 10% of their body weight in 6 months).

For the record I would just like to say that I have kept 60 lbs. off for 3 years and I have NEVER been much of an exerciser. I certainly did NO exercise whatsoever (well, little walks) during my weight loss. Afterward, I got into yoga and pilates for fun, but would probably only do 90 minutes a week. I have NEVER been one to enjoy sweating, high heartbeats, or putting aside an hour of my day to exercise. I am not against it; it's just not appealing to me.

I was never aware of calorie consumption either. I just don't buy this whole "calories in, calories out" theory. Why do I care how many degrees my food can raise my temperature? That is what a calorie is, for those who haven't taken chem 101. No, I never cared about calories, and I have always eaten as much as I want. This includes last summer when I did a high-fat raw foods diet, including lots of dried fruit. Once I estimated my calories at 4,000. I never gained weight until I started eating cooked starch again, and then it was only 5 lbs. and stabilized there.

I have lost weight and kept it off because I have severely limited my choice of man-made foods. END OF STORY. I am not even saying be a raw foodist. I didn't find out about raw foods until after my weight loss. I was doing Eat to Live, eating tons of beans and veggies, huge servings of tofu, etc. But my body relished in the break from all the sugars and processed foods I've eaten my whole life. My colon cleared out, my cells began to work properly, and my elimination cycles kicked in.

...Just for the record.

Here are some photos of me in July 2005, at 177 lbs. My normal weight now is 115.

Torpedo Belly

That's the wonderful name my cousin has given me. As funny as that sounds, I think she is right on! I grew A TON this week, if you compare this pic to the last ones I posted.

 

Oh it's been a while since I've updated my prenatal stats... So I am 39 weeks today, weight about 142. That's a 22 lb. gain. It's mostly all belly but my thighs are definitely more flabby (maybe skin/muscle tone just changes?). I haven't measured fundus in several weeks, so hard to get an accurate measurement now, since I can't really feel the top of the fundus.

 

Lately I have been eating more cooked food (I am too tired to buy loads of fruit, and lifting watermelon always makes my back hurt) but since I have been feeling a bit lower, I decided to really push myself all the way here, since I only have a week or 2 left. So today I ate all raw, just fruit until it cooled off, then I felt like an avocado salad. I'm going to stick with this!! I can do it! But I can't guarantee I will still buy tons of fruit after the birth... I am just exhausted from it all.

 

We are all set for the birth. I am not really nervous now, in fact when I think of UC I don't even feel that "WOW Just think if we could do that!" sort of feeling anymore. It just feels normal, like a given, or like second nature. Which is good - more likely to come to pass if it's no big deal. I feel totally confident with my remedies for bleeding, shock, and various other concerns. I really didn't have to prepare much for other "complications" because, simply, they are not! I owe that confidence to Pamela and Lennon, the amazing midwives here who have taught me so much.

 

So who knows what the birth will be like? I am prepared for a long labor or a short labor. I feel comfortable delivering my baby on a moment's notice, wherever I may be (I think through this scenario quite a bit actually). I am guessing it will be a night labor, born by morning, but we'll see! I also predict my baby's weight to be 7 lb. 10 oz. and 21 inches long. I say GIRL! (though I am preparing myself for a boy.......) and I predict a quick, easy recovery! Back on my feet so I can nurture my son and help us all to adjust. But I don't plan on leaving the house for a while :) Actually I am going to try avoiding cars as much as possible.

 

I don't know how much I will be blogging after the birth. Apparently it's difficult to type while wearing a baby......?? My mom will be in town for almost 2 weeks. And I just want to simplify my life. I am trying to get away from the computer and more focused on my family and spirituality. Thanks to everyone for reading my blog and for all your support!

Pep talk to myself

Okay so now I am 9 months and feeling it. Suddenly I feel like my belly has doubled in size, my back is a stiff board, nothing I eat is appetizing or hit the spot, I am still hungry, or I am nauseas, or have mild heartburn, and I am having constant (uncomfortable) Braxton Hicks.....and I am so tired! Oh yeah and did I mention emotional??!  This pregnancy has been a breeze compared to the last one, but lately I admit I've felt DONE being pregnant. "Let's just get this baby out already!"

 

Maybe I'm just having a bad day (after all, I have been up since 5:30 am)... for the record I did get out for a power walk 2 days in a row.

 

Good news: Still no sign of edema. Hooray! No muscle cramps. And I get good sleep at night.

 

So I have to catch myself here. I have tried so hard to take care of myself, be positive, and not get into the "Wo is me, I am pregnant, wah wah" attitude. So far I've done pretty well. But lately it's sure tempting. See, I didn't want to get into that mindset, because I don't want to start labor with that mindset. It's very important to me (more so than any physical goals) to stay positive, to feel sexy, to enjoy the present moment and enjoy my pregnancy. When I start labor I want to be fresh, alert, and joyful. I hope I don't have a negative attitude, from feeling tired and yucky and just wanting it over with.

 

So if it is in fact one more week, LET'S DO IT! Let's keep eating light and easy, let's keep praying as often as I need to, keep a song in my heart, stay cool, take baths, whatever I need to do! Finish out strong! YOU CAN DO IT!

When God gives us difficult tasks

The hardest thing about this pregnancy has not been physical - no, physically I have been great - but rather, emotional. It's not like I'm always bright and cheery anyway, but during pregnancy I have just been so irritable, prefering to be alone most of the time. It is very difficult to mother a whiny, clingy pre-schooler when you have zero patience for all of it, including the stuff that most people think is cute (but to me, it's just annoying). And the worst part is, I know I am doing it. I know I am being a grouch, I know I am being cruel to my own son, and I fear for how it will affect him. But I am just unnerved!

 

I am beginning to realize what being a mom means, and how this will only grow with two children. Funny how this is the most common job anywhere, but we just sort of take it for granted, without realizing--Heck, what hard work! Why does anybody do this!? This is harder than any other job, except maybe being the President of the U.S. I never get to punch out. I never get to leave my work stress and go home. My work stress is my life. It is my identity. It is always with me. Because it is more than a job, it's a lifelong concern and calling.

 

Just let that sink in, all the responsibility that entails, and having to answer to God for the results of your work. This is way big. He asked me to do this, and yet provided no way to make it easy. He asked us to be moms, knowing that we'd fail! This only makes sense if you can come to some sort of understanding, that in God's eyes, this "failure" is actually quite valuable, and hence is really success.

 

Who had a perfect childhood? Raise your hand. It doesn't matter that I can't see you - because none of you are raising your hand. Childhood is fun and innocent, but let's face it, it stinks. It's hard not being in control of your own life, and being told what to do all the time (precisely why I avoid hospitals). It's hard not having the mental or physical skill to accomplish what you wish you could, what you see adults doing. It's hard to be the butt of your mom's bad day. It's hard when you can't understand why you can't have everything you want. Childhood can be rough.

 

But God designed childhood to be that way. There is no error in his creation. This is for our spiritual benefit, for growth that goes much further beyond the scope of our earthly existence. During these trying times, it's important to keep this vision, to see the big picture, and to keep pressing onward. Sometimes it doesn't make sense that God gave me his children knowing I would cause them pain. And it's hard to trust a Father in Heaven who sent you to a painful family situation, without resenting Him. But in times of quiet and faith, I can see the big picture and know of his wisdom on this. I trust Him, and I will continue to do what he asks me to do. I will push onward and be true in my efforts to love the children he has sent me, daily repenting of my shortcomings, and praying that he would make this for each of our benefit, ultimately growing closer to Christ and relying on Him for perfect nurturing.

nursing wear

I have been coming up with all sorts of complicated ideas to make a nursing shirt, and searching the web to buy a nursing dress or top...... and then guess what I discover! This is SO SIMPLE. Just wear a camisole/bra under your shirt. Lift up your shirt, and tug down the cami neckline. EASY. No skin shows to the public, and you don't have to deal with all sorts of bra snaps (that's the biggest hassle there). Wow. And super cheap. So I bought a few different colors of camisoles, and now I don't need nursing bras either. Just wear one of these under my shirt when I go out (and go bra-less around the house! Yeah!)

Body Image

I have enjoyed pregnancy, one reason because I love my pregnant body. Most women say they feel fat or awkward, and yes I will say awkward, but I feel so much more sexy being pregnant. Can anyone else relate? I finally have some curves!! In my regular skin (of the past few years at least) I am glad to be thin but really I am just a boring stick like a pre-puberty little girl! I have mixed feelings about my body. Today I watched the movie Mr. Magorium... and was noticing Natalie Portman's shape, so similar to mine. She looks pre-puberty! She can wear lots of cute clothes being skinny, yes, but how attractive are stick legs poking out from a curveless torso? So that is what I think of myself also - it's fun to be skinny but really, not so attractive when it comes down to it. Well I am just rambling, these are my thoughts on body image. I wonder what type of clothing is best to flatter this shape, to create more of a curvy illusion? These skirts lately are pretty good, the ones that flare outward to the knee. And maybe a shrug over the shoulders to make the waist look smaller than the shoulders...?? I dunno, oh well. My goal for after the birth is to build some muscle so at least I get curves there, in my biceps and calves, etc. My muscle tone is only average, and I have never been one to stick to a workout routine. But I'm thinking I'll try a regular weight-lifting thing, just at home with cheap things (mostly body weight) and see what I can do.